If you’re used to getting a full night of undisturbed sleep, it can be a real shock when a new baby comes along. A solid eight hours sleep turns into a scattered six, if you’re lucky – and that includes being woken every two hours for a feed. 

When my daughter was small, I realised I was late for a doctor’s appointment. I hastily threw on a vest and leather jacket, popped her in the buggy and was halfway across the park… when I realised I didn’t have any trousers on. Or a skirt. I was so late that I carried on and went to the local surgery wearing nothing but tights on my bottom half. 

Parents do some very weird things when they’re sleep-deprived. Here are some of the WTF moments our readers shared with us. 

[Read More: When it comes to sleep, parents will take whatever they can get]

Knock Knock

“I opened the door to the postman after my usual two hour sleep to receive some very strange looks. After taking the parcel and closing the door I realised my boob was hanging out the side of my vest. I was too exhausted to even feel humiliated.” – Sarah-Jane

Netflix And Chill

“I once put the remote control in the fridge. I looked for it everywhere – it was only later, when I’d given up and was going to make myself a sandwich, that I saw it nestled in the vegetable drawer, next to some tomatoes. It was ice cold. Still worked, though!” – Anon

Lost For Words

“I forgot my own name. And I was genuinely terrified of people asking my son’s name, too, in case I couldn’t remember it.” – Kerry

Rockabye Baby

“My husband woke up in the night to find me trying to pick him up like a baby. It was weird. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t just scooping him up!” – Stef

Nobody There

“When my son was small I thought I heard the postman ringing the doorbell – so leapt out of bed and was halfway down the road in my dressing gown to chase him away… only to realise it was 5am, on a Sunday, and the street was completely empty. I was half-hallucinating, half-dreaming, because I was just so goddamn tired.” – Anon

Baby? What Baby?

“My husband forgot we had a baby. Someone asked him how the baby was and he looked at them blankly and said: “What baby?”″ – Niamh

Supermarket Sweep

“A friend once took the baby to the shop in her buggy to buy milk, came back and handed his wife the milk. She said “Where’s the baby?” He’d left the baby in the shop!” – Cate

[Read More: German Couple Leave Newborn Baby In The Taxi They Took Home From Hospital]

‘Take Your Kids To Work’ Day

“I drove to work and when I parked, I got a fright when I heard a noise. I turned round and realised it was my children – I had completely forgotten to drop them off at the childminder.” – Helen

Help Yourself

“I parked in the Tesco carpark to do some shopping and left the passenger door open. Not just unlocked, fully open – whilst I did a shop and stopped for a coffee.” – Laura

Big Boy

“I kept hallucinating in bed that my husband was my baby lying next to me… so I thought the baby had swollen up really big, and kept stroking my husband’s hair saying ‘Oh, oh, why are you so big? What happened to you?’ I also frequently thought I had two babies and that we had lost one. I kept looking for it.” – Louise

Handbags

“I once left my handbag outside the front door of the nursery. I drove home, but couldn’t get in because my keys were in my bag. Luckily, it was still there when I went back to get it. I told Kate (then aged two) not to tell her dad… and it was the first thing she said to him when he got home, of course. From that day onwards, she’d say: “Handbag, Mummy?” to remind me. And she has been the same ever since. It’s like having a mini P.A.” – Emily

[Read more: Mum Shares Simple Hack To Help Babies Sleep – All You Need Is One Household Item]

Phoning Home

“I once took my portable home phone in my handbag to a friend’s house. It started bleating because it was too far from home.” – Em

Bleary Eyes

“I had an ear problem and my baby had an eye problem. The drops look similar. One afternoon, whilst probably watching ‘Homes Under The Hammer’, I grabbed the wrong ones and put ear drops in my baby’s eye. He cried. I put the ear drops in my own eye to see how bad it was. It was bad. But not that bad, thankfully! The doctors at A&E did some special tests and reassured me about my baby’s eye. All was well. I’ll never not check drops again.” – Claire

Pram Jam

“I took the baby out of her pram and put her in the car then drove away, leaving the pram on the pavement. I only realised hours later – I went back, but it was gone.” – Charlotte

Buggy Boo

“I drove away without putting my brand-new McLaren buggy in the car. It took me about three days to realise what I’d done. I’ve honestly never got over it.” – Sue

Behind The Wheel

“I stopped driving when I had my daughter. I couldn’t trust myself behind the wheel, because I could’ve slept anywhere – on the Tube, walking, in the middle of a gig – not that I would’ve gone to one. I was too tired!” – Anon

In The Ignition

“I went for a walk with a friend to get a little fresh air and exercise. I drove to her neighbourhood, went for the walk and then couldn’t find my car keys for the life of me. After ages of wondering where they were in the buggy, and wondering if I’d dropped them. I lent down towards the car because I could hear a faint singing… I had left the keys in the ignition with the radio on. Lucky it hadn’t been stolen!” – Susie

 [Read more: Professor Green Shares The One Sleep Habit That Helps His Anxiety]

Related…

• 
  11 Mums Share The Realities Of Life After Childbirth In Pictures
  
• 
  My Son Is About To Start School – And It’s Keeping Me Up At Night
  
• 
  7 Common Fights Couples Have During The First Year Of Marriage
  

By the time I got it home, I was wondering whether the benefits of the Kally Sleep Pillow – which promises to give you a “comfortable and deeper” sleep by adapting to your body shape to give support – were going to be worth the stress of wrestling a massive fabric sausage across the city on public transport.

What had started as a neatly rolled package, had fast unfurled as I’d battled it down escalators and squeezed it onto a rush hour Tube – leaving me carrying a shoulder-height bolster pillow in the face of unfriendly stares. 

[Read More: Why am I grinding my teeth? From stress to sleep apnoea, these are the causes]

And yet, I knew I needed to try a new approach to sleep. It’s something I’ve always struggled with, but over the last few months, things had become really bad. After I (unknowingly) injured my shoulder at the gym, rolling onto it at night had become really painful – added to the fact I find it hard to drop off in general, and bedtime had become pretty tough. 

Your shoulders might be fine, of course. I hope they are! But even if they’re the most perfectly supple joints, there’s still reason to consider this saveloy-shaped wonder. Yes, it’s aimed at people who are injured, in post-recovery, or pregnant (when my friend saw it in my room, she demanded to know why I had a pregnancy pillow), but it’s also designed to help with posture if you’re reading or working in bed.

And that’s before we talk about its snuggle factor – soft and squidgy to touch, this bedtime bratwurst is made from material that scrunches and then slowly bounces back to its original form.

[Read more from HuffPost Life: The Sleep Edition]

For the first four weeks of use – when the pain in my shoulder was at its peak – the pillow’s brilliance more than made up for the horror of carting it through that rush-hour commute. 

Previously, I’d been forced to lie on my non-injured shoulder all night, leaving my injured shoulder drooping down, unsupported. I had tried resting it on a cushion, but the cushion tended to fall off the bed during the night, and the next morning I’d have pain in my shoulder if I tried to lift my arm. 

With the sausage pillow, things were so much more comfortable. To give possibly too much information – but the practical details of how you do actually sleep with a massive bolster cushion in your bed are kind of important – I slept spooning it, the top of the sausage under my head as a pillow, my arm on top at a right angle, and my legs wrapped around the bottom. 

Whatever position I shaped it into, the pillow stayed put. And while there was no doubt that it helped my shoulder, I was also in no hurry to ditch the pillow once my injury got better.

Here’s where I must add: I sleep in a double bed alone, so there was more than enough room for me and my squidgy bedfellow. If you already share your sleeping space with someone else – and your bed isn’t massive – it might feel a bit crowded.

[Read More: How many hours sleep do you really need? And what happens if you don’t get them?]

Of course there were a few times it was annoying to share my bed with a supersized cushion. Some nights, I woke to find I’d kicked it on the floor during the night, and if you’re sensitive to heat, you might not fancy cuddling a bolster all night. But most of the time, I loved this unlikely addition to my bedding.

Did it help me into a deeper sleep? That might be pushing it a bit. But here’s what I do know: I haven’t had bad sleeps with the pillow, it has made me excited to get into bed because the lure of its squidgy loveliness is so great, and yeah – I definitely did have a more comfortable night’s sleep.

[Read More: I tried an anti-snoring pillow, but did it work?]

For me, the beauty of the sausage pillow long-term is its versatility. Want to prop yourself up and read in bed? Use the sausage pillow. Need something to support a tablet so you can watch something in bed? Sausage pillow. Hoping to warm yourself up because it’s still cold under the duvet? Spoon the pillow. 

These days, post-injury, I’ve been positioning the bolster in an upside down V shape on my bed – I place my head at the point of the V, and I can turn left or right and have my head cushioned supportively.

It’s become a comfort; a bedtime staple I don’t want to get rid of anytime soon. 

The Kally Pillow is available in five different colours and retails at £49.99. Buy it here. 

Related…

• 
  Tired This Morning? How Night Owls Can Retrain Their Body Clocks In 4 Simple Steps
  
• 
  3 Of The Biggest Sleep Myths, Debunked By Scientists
  
• 
  What Food To Eat (And When) For A Better Night’s Sleep
  

By the time I got it home, I was wondering whether the benefits of the Kally Sleep Pillow – which promises to give you a “comfortable and deeper” sleep by adapting to your body shape to give support – were going to be worth the stress of wrestling a massive fabric sausage across the city on public transport.

What had started as a neatly rolled package, had fast unfurled as I’d battled it down escalators and squeezed it onto a rush hour Tube – leaving me carrying a shoulder-height bolster pillow in the face of unfriendly stares. 

[Read More: Why am I grinding my teeth? From stress to sleep apnoea, these are the causes]

And yet, I knew I needed to try a new approach to sleep. It’s something I’ve always struggled with, but over the last few months, things had become really bad. After I (unknowingly) injured my shoulder at the gym, rolling onto it at night had become really painful – added to the fact I find it hard to drop off in general, and bedtime had become pretty tough. 

Your shoulders might be fine, of course. I hope they are! But even if they’re the most perfectly supple joints, there’s still reason to consider this saveloy-shaped wonder. Yes, it’s aimed at people who are injured, in post-recovery, or pregnant (when my friend saw it in my room, she demanded to know why I had a pregnancy pillow), but it’s also designed to help with posture if you’re reading or working in bed.

And that’s before we talk about its snuggle factor – soft and squidgy to touch, this bedtime bratwurst is made from material that scrunches and then slowly bounces back to its original form.

[Read More: These are the most sleep deprived cities in the UK]

For the first four weeks of use – when the pain in my shoulder was at its peak – the pillow’s brilliance more than made up for the horror of carting it through that rush-hour commute. 

Previously, I’d been forced to lie on my non-injured shoulder all night, leaving my injured shoulder drooping down, unsupported. I had tried resting it on a cushion, but the cushion tended to fall off the bed during the night, and the next morning I’d have pain in my shoulder if I tried to lift my arm. 

With the sausage pillow, things were so much more comfortable. To give possibly too much information – but the practical details of how you do actually sleep with a massive bolster cushion in your bed are kind of important – I slept spooning it, the top of the sausage under my head as a pillow, my arm on top at a right angle, and my legs wrapped around the bottom. 

Whatever position I shaped it into, the pillow stayed put. And while there was no doubt that it helped my shoulder, I was also in no hurry to ditch the pillow once my injury got better.

Here’s where I must add: I sleep in a double bed alone, so there was more than enough room for me and my squidgy bedfellow. If you already share your sleeping space with someone else – and your bed isn’t massive – it might feel a bit crowded.

[Read More: How many hours sleep do you really need? And what happens if you don’t get them?]

Of course there were a few times it was annoying to share my bed with a supersized cushion. Some nights, I woke to find I’d kicked it on the floor during the night, and if you’re sensitive to heat, you might not fancy cuddling a bolster all night. But most of the time, I loved this unlikely addition to my bedding.

Did it help me into a deeper sleep? That might be pushing it a bit. But here’s what I do know: I haven’t had bad sleeps with the pillow, it has made me excited to get into bed because the lure of its squidgy loveliness is so great, and yeah – I definitely did have a more comfortable night’s sleep.

[Read More: I tried an anti-snoring pillow, but did it work?]

For me, the beauty of the sausage pillow long-term is its versatility. Want to prop yourself up and read in bed? Use the sausage pillow. Need something to support a tablet so you can watch something in bed? Sausage pillow. Hoping to warm yourself up because it’s still cold under the duvet? Spoon the pillow. 

These days, post-injury, I’ve been positioning the bolster in an upside down V shape on my bed – I place my head at the point of the V, and I can turn left or right and have my head cushioned supportively.

It’s become a comfort; a bedtime staple I don’t want to get rid of anytime soon. 

The Kally Pillow is available in five different colours and retails at £49.99. Buy it here. 

Related…

• 
  Tired This Morning? How Night Owls Can Retrain Their Body Clocks In 4 Simple Steps
  
• 
  3 Of The Biggest Sleep Myths, Debunked By Scientists
  
• 
  What Food To Eat (And When) For A Better Night’s Sleep
  

As a nation, our sleep habits are far from perfect. More than half of adults in the UK sleep for six hours or fewer each night, according to an Aviva survey, while just 17% of adults get a desirable eight hours. And we’re becoming obsessed with it: by next year, the global sleep aids market is projected to be worth $80.8bn.

Like many of us, Ruth Walker uses her fitness tracker to track her sleep. But recently, the 32-year-old has been reconsidering that choice – considering whether her anxiety about getting enough sleep is becoming more of a problem than a lack of sleep itself. “When I’m struggling to sleep and trying to relax, it stresses me out knowing the time is being logged – and that way of thinking hinders my sleep even more,” she says.

Walker first started tracking her sleep two years ago, and routinely checks not just how long she’s sleeping for, but also the sleep stages she’s entered each night, and the overall quality of her rest. The results don’t always correspond with her feelings on waking, however. “Sometimes I wake up feeling refreshed and that I had a good night’s rest, only to be told by the app I didn’t get as much sleep as I thought,” notes the marketing manager from Newcastle. “It makes you question – do I feel refreshed?”

[Read More: Why am I grinding my teeth? From stress to sleep apnoea, these are the causes]

When the US website Cnet asked more than 1,000 readers about their tech habits in autumn 2018, 30% of respondents said they used some form of sleep tracker or sensor every night. A report by Future Market Insights suggests Western Europe is the second most dominant market for wearable sleep trackers and that the market is expected to continue to grow between now and 2028.

But as the use of sleep trackers has become more widespread, so too has the idea that actually, they might not be the best thing you can wear to bed. In 2017, a report published in the journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine suggested that sleep trackers may reinforce sleep-related anxiety or perfectionism for some patients – a condition dubbed ‘orthosomnia’ by the authors.

Kathryn Pinkham, founder of The Insomnia Clinic, has witnessed that need for perfection in practice. “What we see is that the anxiety around not sleeping well has been exacerbated by using a sleep tracker,” she explains. The need to record and monitor sleep is curious, argues Pinkham. “Why bother tracking it unless that in some way is going to fix it? People will know if they’ve slept badly, why do they need a tracker to tell them?”

Yet the reality is that many of us do want to see the numbers. That’s a concern for Maryanne Taylor, founder of The Sleep Works. “I worry that the flip side of that [sleep tracking] is the overwhelming obsession of having to achieve X hours of sleep a night,” she says.

Thirty years ago, the opposite was true: in the eighties there was huge bravado about who could sleep least – famously, Margaret Thatcher is said to have slept for just four hours a night. But more recently there has been growing awareness that having too little sleep just isn’t good for you – and has been linked to all kinds of negative health implications. “The tide is turning,” says Taylor. “I think fitness trackers are part of that. But also there’s been this surge where finally people are recognising mental health and general health, and how sleep fits into that.”

Negotiating all that information is not straightforward – sleep is the the subject of many thousands of articles, bestselling books and endless studies – but throughout it all, we’re routinely told we should be getting eight hours a night. And the fixation on one number might not be helpful. 

The idea we have to be asleep for eight hours in order to have a good night’s sleep, is a myth, argues Taylor. Sleep is very individual: ”We’re split into long sleepers and short sleepers, and some people do feel they need to have eight hours but some people are short sleepers and achieve exactly the same in terms of their sleep needs on less than that,” she says.

“We see it everywhere: our optimum health and optimum sleep, it has to be this and it has to be that – it’s a dangerous game. And that’s where this obsession starts to grow.”

As we’ve become more interested in sleep, so our ability to track how “well” we’re doing it has also grown. Initially, people obsessed over the number of steps they did. Now the hours and minutes that your fitness tracker says you’ve slept has become equally important. 

Francesca De Franco, 40, from Banstead, Surrey, first started tracking her steps when her husband bought her a fitness tracker two years ago – when she noticed it also tracked sleep, she decided to give it a go. The tracker vindicates her belief that she’s always had bad quality or not enough sleep, she explains. “I check it as soon as I wake up and then I’m really disappointed when my sleep time is under six hours, which it frequently is.”

Pinkham estimates that roughly half of her clients have used a sleep tracker at some point. Often, before visiting her clinic, they will have tried to fix their sleep problem by introducing a few sleep hygiene measures (like giving up caffeine), before progressing to tracking their sleep through a device or app on their phone – which then becomes the first thing they check in the morning, every single day. “It’ll tell them that they’ve had a terrible night’s sleep,” she says. “[This] causes anxiety about the day ahead – so rather than listening to how they actually feel, they decide they feel tired and will maybe cancel a meeting or a social event that night.”

In short, people are listening to the results of a sleep tracker rather than what their bodies are telling them. And here lies the problem. “It increases anxiety about sleep quality, and it definitely contributes towards the mental health aspect of sleep problems because it’s playing on someone’s mind,” Pinkham explains. “If they read that they didn’t get any deep sleep last night, that will affect how they behave. It’s very much a self-fulfilling prophecy – if you believe you slept badly, you will act like someone who slept badly.”

And that can be particularly the case when people are exhausted and at their most vulnerable. For new parents, it could definitely become a source of anxiety, says Vicki Psarias, 38, author and blogger at Honest Mum. “I feel if I was a new mum, tracking sleep could contribute to me feeling worse at a time where sleep deprivation is at an all-time high and how much sleep you’re getting can become all-consuming.”

The extent to which sleep or fitness trackers accurately monitor sleep is disputed. Some claim to monitor different stages – awake, light, deep and REM – while others promise to measure heart rate, levels of movement, breathing rate and blood pressure. But the National Sleep Foundation suggests they are limited in their usefulness – and Taylor agrees. 

“The technology within them isn’t smart enough to give an accurate reading,” she argues. When a person is asleep they will transition through sleep cycles, moving between light sleep and deep sleep, and then back into light sleep. “But the stage of light sleep and the stage of wakefulness on a sleep tracker reads almost identically,” Taylor explains. “So the technology isn’t smart enough to read properly between light sleep, which is a key part of our sleep cycle, and an awake state.”

People who look at their sleep trackers in the morning might see large periods of time where they were ‘awake’ and then believe they didn’t sleep well. “If they were to do a proper monitor in a sleep lab, they would have a very different result,” Taylor adds.

[Read More: 9 relaxing bedroom accessories to help you create a calming oasis]

Dr Rebecca Robbins, co-author of Sleep For Success and a researcher at NYU Langone Health, argues that we can’t yet say for sure whether sleep trackers are causing more harm than good – although she does note that scientific literature has shown a heightened level of stress around sleep among insomnia patients . “Patients walk into their room, they’re nervous about being not able to fall asleep and then that nervousness translates to poor sleep,” says Dr Robbins. Sleep trackers can make that pressure worse. 

They also can’t help you fix any problems you think you may have. Seven years ago, Jo Norton, 28, made lots of changes to try and improve the quality of her sleep: she tried using a phone app to track her sleep, wearing an eye mask to block out light, watching calming videos before bed, following guided meditation and was a dedicated user of lavender oil. She was still exhausted.

Three years later she went to an orthodontist who she says spotted her sleep disorder within minutes. “I couldn’t pinpoint what was happening in my sleep or why I was so tired,” she says. “When I was eventually diagnosed with UARS (upper airways resistance syndrome) and saw my blood oxygen graphs, I could see why my sleep was so disrupted. An app was never going to show that.”

She adds: “It sounds a bit dramatic but my orthodontist saved my life.”

If you are a poor sleeper and you’re finding that sleep apps aren’t giving you much insight, consider seeing a professional who can help determine whether there’s an underlying cause such as sleep apnoea, stress or anxiety. And if you actively believe your sleep tracker is causing you anxiety about sleep, it might be time to pull the plug. 

Mary Baird-Wilcock, 41, a podcast host and business coach based in Nottingham, had to ditch her sleep tracker after she realised it was stopping her from nodding off. She was using a sleep app on her phone, which involved putting the phone under her pillow each night. “I have zero willpower,” she says, “so as soon as I laid my head down, knowing full well my phone was under there, if I didn’t get to sleep within 10 minutes I would instantly reach for my phone and watch another episode of Schitt’s Creek or RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

The result? Less sleep. “I knew I needed to remove my phone from my bedroom, ignore the app and simplify down to get back to basics to increase my sleep health,” she adds.

Listening to your own body rather than to an app is a good first step to better sleep, says Taylor. ’Before you reach for the sleep tracker first thing in the morning you [need to] consider yourself – how do you feel? If you give yourself the opportunity to assess yourself without the tracker results, you give yourself a bigger picture,” she adds.

Even bigger picture, we need to stop obsessing over sleep full stop. The eight hour rule isn’t something to live by and people should instead be working out what their optimum amount of sleep is – in other words, how much sleep they need to not feel tired and groggy, to feel alert and awake. Avoid comparison, too. “Your sleep and your friend’s sleep isn’t going to be exactly the same,” adds Taylor.

For Ruth Walker, struggling to reconcile her tracked sleep with her own experience of that sleep, there’s a middle ground. Convinced that her tracker isn’t entirely accurate, she’s continued using it but treats the results as a baseline. “I think not knowing [the sleep data] may actually help some people,” she muses. “Then there are others for whom knowing the precise figure – especially when it’s over seven or eight hours – will feel better.

Now she mainly uses her tracker for exercise: “The sleep info is just something I take with a pinch of salt,” she says. “I would consider taking it off if I was having a bad patch of poor sleep to help me chill out more before bed.”

Related…

• 
  These Are The Physical Symptoms Of Stress You’ve Probably Never Heard Of
  
• 
  Half Of Brits Socialise With Friends And Family Just Once A Month Or Less
  
• 
  I Bought Your Drinks, So You Owe Me Sex – Why Do Some Men Believe Dating Is A Transaction?
  

As a nation, our sleep habits are far from perfect. More than half of adults in the UK sleep for six hours or fewer each night, according to an Aviva survey, while just 17% of adults get a desirable eight hours. And we’re becoming obsessed with it: by next year, the global sleep aids market is projected to be worth $80.8bn.

Like many of us, Ruth Walker uses her fitness tracker to track her sleep. But recently, the 32-year-old has been reconsidering that choice – considering whether her anxiety about getting enough sleep is becoming more of a problem than a lack of sleep itself. “When I’m struggling to sleep and trying to relax, it stresses me out knowing the time is being logged – and that way of thinking hinders my sleep even more,” she says.

Walker first started tracking her sleep two years ago, and routinely checks not just how long she’s sleeping for, but also the sleep stages she’s entered each night, and the overall quality of her rest. The results don’t always correspond with her feelings on waking, however. “Sometimes I wake up feeling refreshed and that I had a good night’s rest, only to be told by the app I didn’t get as much sleep as I thought,” notes the marketing manager from Newcastle. “It makes you question – do I feel refreshed?”

[Read More: Why am I grinding my teeth? From stress to sleep apnoea, these are the causes]

When the US website Cnet asked more than 1,000 readers about their tech habits in autumn 2018, 30% of respondents said they used some form of sleep tracker or sensor every night. A report by Future Market Insights suggests Western Europe is the second most dominant market for wearable sleep trackers and that the market is expected to continue to grow between now and 2028.

But as the use of sleep trackers has become more widespread, so too has the idea that actually, they might not be the best thing you can wear to bed. In 2017, a report published in the journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine suggested that sleep trackers may reinforce sleep-related anxiety or perfectionism for some patients – a condition dubbed ‘orthosomnia’ by the authors.

Kathryn Pinkham, founder of The Insomnia Clinic, has witnessed that need for perfection in practice. “What we see is that the anxiety around not sleeping well has been exacerbated by using a sleep tracker,” she explains.

[Read More: This sleep sausage pillow is meant to give you a better night’s rest – so does it work?]

The need to record and monitor sleep is curious, argues Pinkham. “Why bother tracking it unless that in some way is going to fix it? People will know if they’ve slept badly, why do they need a tracker to tell them?”

Yet the reality is that many of us do want to see the numbers. That’s a concern for Maryanne Taylor, founder of The Sleep Works. “I worry that the flip side of that [sleep tracking] is the overwhelming obsession of having to achieve X hours of sleep a night,” she says.

Thirty years ago, the opposite was true: in the eighties there was huge bravado about who could sleep least – famously, Margaret Thatcher is said to have slept for just four hours a night. But more recently there has been growing awareness that having too little sleep just isn’t good for you – and has been linked to all kinds of negative health implications. “The tide is turning,” says Taylor. “I think fitness trackers are part of that. But also there’s been this surge where finally people are recognising mental health and general health, and how sleep fits into that.”

Negotiating all that information is not straightforward – sleep is the the subject of many thousands of articles, bestselling books and endless studies – but throughout it all, we’re routinely told we should be getting eight hours a night. And the fixation on one number might not be helpful. 

The idea we have to be asleep for eight hours in order to have a good night’s sleep, is a myth, argues Taylor. Sleep is very individual: ”We’re split into long sleepers and short sleepers, and some people do feel they need to have eight hours but some people are short sleepers and achieve exactly the same in terms of their sleep needs on less than that,” she says.

“We see it everywhere: our optimum health and optimum sleep, it has to be this and it has to be that – it’s a dangerous game. And that’s where this obsession starts to grow.”

[Read more from HuffPost Life: The Sleep Edition]

As we’ve become more interested in sleep, so our ability to track how “well” we’re doing it has also grown. Initially, people obsessed over the number of steps they did. Now the hours and minutes that your fitness tracker says you’ve slept for has become equally important. 

Francesca De Franco, 40, from Banstead, Surrey, first started tracking her steps when her husband bought her a fitness tracker two years ago – when she noticed it also tracked sleep, she decided to give it a go. The tracker vindicates her belief that she’s always had bad quality or not enough sleep, she explains. “I check it as soon as I wake up and then I’m really disappointed when my sleep time is under six hours, which it frequently is.”

Pinkham estimates that roughly half of her clients have used a sleep tracker at some point. Often, before visiting her clinic, they will have tried to fix their sleep problem by introducing a few sleep hygiene measures (like giving up caffeine), before progressing to tracking their sleep through a device or app on their phone – which then becomes the first thing they check in the morning, every single day. “It’ll tell them that they’ve had a terrible night’s sleep,” she says. “[This] causes anxiety about the day ahead – so rather than listening to how they actually feel, they decide they feel tired and will maybe cancel a meeting or a social event that night.”

In short, people are listening to the results of a sleep tracker rather than what their bodies are telling them. And here lies the problem. “It increases anxiety about sleep quality, and it definitely contributes towards the mental health aspect of sleep problems because it’s playing on someone’s mind,” Pinkham explains. “If they read that they didn’t get any deep sleep last night, that will affect how they behave. It’s very much a self-fulfilling prophecy – if you believe you slept badly, you will act like someone who slept badly.”

And that can be particularly the case when people are exhausted and at their most vulnerable. For new parents, it could definitely become a source of anxiety, says Vicki Psarias, 38, author and blogger at Honest Mum. “I feel if I was a new mum, tracking sleep could contribute to me feeling worse at a time where sleep deprivation is at an all-time high and how much sleep you’re getting can become all-consuming.”

The extent to which sleep or fitness trackers accurately monitor sleep is disputed. Some claim to monitor different stages – awake, light, deep and REM – while others promise to measure heart rate, levels of movement, breathing rate and blood pressure. But the National Sleep Foundation suggests they are limited in their usefulness – and Taylor agrees. 

“The technology within them isn’t smart enough to give an accurate reading,” she argues. When a person is asleep they will transition through sleep cycles, moving between light sleep and deep sleep, and then back into light sleep. “But the stage of light sleep and the stage of wakefulness on a sleep tracker reads almost identically,” Taylor explains. “So the technology isn’t smart enough to read properly between light sleep, which is a key part of our sleep cycle, and an awake state.”

People who look at their sleep trackers in the morning might see large periods of time where they were ‘awake’ and then believe they didn’t sleep well. “If they were to do a proper monitor in a sleep lab, they would have a very different result,” Taylor adds.

[Read More: 9 relaxing bedroom accessories to help you create a calming oasis]

Dr Rebecca Robbins, co-author of Sleep For Success and a researcher at NYU Langone Health, argues that we can’t yet say for sure whether sleep trackers are causing more harm than good – although she does note that scientific literature has shown a heightened level of stress around sleep among insomnia patients . “Patients walk into their room, they’re nervous about being not able to fall asleep and then that nervousness translates to poor sleep,” says Dr Robbins. And sleep trackers could make that pressure worse. 

They also can’t help you fix any problems you think you may have. Seven years ago, Jo Norton, 28, made lots of changes to try and improve the quality of her sleep: she tried using a phone app to track her sleep, wearing an eye mask to block out light, watching calming videos before bed, following guided meditation and was a dedicated user of lavender oil. She was still exhausted.

Three years later she went to an orthodontist who she says spotted her sleep disorder within minutes. “I couldn’t pinpoint what was happening in my sleep or why I was so tired,” she says. “When I was eventually diagnosed with UARS (upper airways resistance syndrome) and saw my blood oxygen graphs, I could see why my sleep was so disrupted. An app was never going to show that.”

She adds: “It sounds a bit dramatic but my orthodontist saved my life.”

If you are a poor sleeper and you’re finding that sleep apps aren’t giving you much insight, consider seeing a professional who can help determine whether there’s an underlying cause such as sleep apnoea, stress or anxiety. And if you actively believe your sleep tracker is causing you anxiety about sleep, it might be time to pull the plug. 

Mary Baird-Wilcock, 41, a podcast host and business coach based in Nottingham, had to ditch her sleep tracker after she realised it was stopping her from nodding off. She was using a sleep app on her phone, which involved putting the phone under her pillow each night. “I have zero willpower,” she says, “so as soon as I laid my head down, knowing full well my phone was under there, if I didn’t get to sleep within 10 minutes I would instantly reach for my phone and watch another episode of Schitt’s Creek or RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

The result? Less sleep. “I knew I needed to remove my phone from my bedroom, ignore the app and simplify down to get back to basics to increase my sleep health,” she adds.

Listening to your own body rather than to an app is a good first step to better sleep, says Taylor. ’Before you reach for the sleep tracker first thing in the morning you [need to] consider yourself – how do you feel? If you give yourself the opportunity to assess yourself without the tracker results, you give yourself a bigger picture,” she adds.

Even bigger picture, we need to stop obsessing over sleep full stop. The eight hour rule isn’t something to live by and people should instead be working out what their optimum amount of sleep is – in other words, how much sleep they need to not feel tired and groggy, to feel alert and awake. Avoid comparison, too. “Your sleep and your friend’s sleep isn’t going to be exactly the same,” adds Taylor.

For Ruth Walker, struggling to reconcile her tracked sleep with her own experience of that sleep, there’s a middle ground. Convinced that her tracker isn’t entirely accurate, she’s continued using it but treats the results as a baseline. “I think not knowing [the sleep data] may actually help some people,” she muses. “Then there are others for whom knowing the precise figure – especially when it’s over seven or eight hours – will feel better.

Now she mainly uses her tracker for exercise: “The sleep info is just something I take with a pinch of salt,” she says. “I would consider taking it off if I was having a bad patch of poor sleep to help me chill out more before bed.”

Related…

• 
  These Are The Physical Symptoms Of Stress You’ve Probably Never Heard Of
  
• 
  Half Of Brits Socialise With Friends And Family Just Once A Month Or Less
  
• 
  I Bought Your Drinks, So You Owe Me Sex – Why Do Some Men Believe Dating Is A Transaction?
  

It’s hot. Some of us have been sweaty. It’s a good time of year to consider how often we change our bedsheets – those potential breeding grounds for microscopic life that could even threaten our health.

Allowing dust, sweat and dirt to build-up for just two weeks can be enough to leave you with a scratchy throat or the sniffles, according to New York University microbiologist Philip Tierno – especially if you suffer with allergies. And for those who tend to leave their bedding to fester unchanged, it’s worth noting that doing so can allow sweat and dirt to seep into your pillows and mattress. 

So how often should we be stripping and washing our duvet covers, pillowcases and sheets?

[Read More: How many hours sleep do you really need? And what happens if you don’t get them?]

How often should we change our sheets?

The general consensus is that we should all be changing our sheets – including duvet covers and pillow cases – once a week, argues Tierno. However Professor Val Curtis, from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, tells HuffPost UK she doesn’t believe leaving your sheets on for a few extra weeks will lead to health problems.

But, doing so might not look or feel great: Prof Curtis advises people to change their bedding once a week for “aesthetic reasons”. 

[Read more from HuffPost Life: The Sleep Edition here]

Should we wash our duvets, too?

We should be giving our duvet a six-monthly clean or – at the very least – washing it once a year, according to The Fine Bedding Company. Bacteria and bodily fluids build up in duvets over a short period of time, the company argues, with duvet covers and pyjamas merely acting as a “first line of defence” against sweat.

How you wash your duvet will depend on two things: the type of duvet you have and how big your washing machine is.

Obviously, check for care instructions on your duvet first and follow any instructions. But in general, natural-filled duvets (think: feathers and down) should not be washed and dried at home, regardless of the capacity or capability of your machine. Most dry cleaners will launder this type of bedding and it’s essential that natural duvets are thoroughly dried – otherwise the filling may start to rot.

[Read More: I said I wouldn’t co-sleep – and then I did it with both my children]

When it comes to synthetic duvets, these are usually fine to wash at home. For larger or higher tog duvets – ie your winter ones – it’s usually recommended that they are washed in a large capacity machine. For example, a 9kg drum should comfortably accommodate a king-sized duvet. (If your washing machine isn’t big enough, try taking your duvet to a local launderette.)

What about washing pillows?  

Yep, they should get cleaned, too. A 2005 study analysing fungal spores on 10 different pillows that were between 1.5 and 20 years old, found that every single one had four to 16 different species of fungus living in it. 

Lead researcher Professor Ashley Woodcock, from the University of Manchester, said at the time: “We know that pillows are inhabited by the house dust mite which eats fungi, and one theory is that the fungi are in turn using the house dust mites’ faeces as a major source of nitrogen and nutrition. There could therefore be a ‘miniature ecosystem’ at work inside our pillows.”

It’s recommended that pillows are washed more frequently than duvets: around four times a year – or every three months, according to The Fine Bedding Company. 

Most pillows filled with synthetic fibres can be machine-washed at 40^oC or 60^oC – but check the care label first. Natural pillows typically require professional cleaning.

If you don’t want to wash them regularly, adding a pillow protector can prolong the need to wash the actual pillow itself, and these can be washed frequently and easily.

Related…

• 
  Struggling With Hay Fever? 5 Ways To Sleep Better This Summer
  
• 
  Professor Green Sleeps With The Curtains Open – And It’s A Habit That Helps His Anxiety
  
• 
  Cancer Charity Slammed Again For ‘Shaming’ Advert Likening Obesity To Smoking
  

Insomnia. Anxiety. Night terrors. These are just a few of the many issues people commonly experience that prevent a good night’s sleep. 

Sleep disorders and conditions that affect sleep can be a serious problem, and should definitely be addressed by a doctor for treatment. But many people who deal with them also use their struggles as a source of humour.

We’ve rounded up 35 funny tweets about sleep problems to help you feel a little less alone if you experience them too. Whether you find yourself unable to fall asleep or have major issues once you do get some shut-eye, you’ll hopefully relate to these. 

BEDTIME ROUTINE:
– brush teeth
– set alarm
– oh god I’m on twitter
– take melatonin
– close eyes
– I’m still on twitter???
– omg after death there’s no moment where I’ll realize I died, l just won’t exist & won’t even know
– fave a tweet
– it’s been 4 hrs & sleep will never come

— Nicole Silverberg (@nsilverberg) June 26, 2018

me: time to sleep

anxiety: time for my one-woman show

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 30, 2019

do you think insomnia is punishment for begging to stay up late all the time when i was a child

— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) March 23, 2014

GOD: [inventing sleep] make it the best thing & give it to evryone
ANGEL: aw thats nice
GOD: and make it imposible to experience or remember

— jonny sun (@jonnysun) August 11, 2016

Until I started experiencing insomnia I had no idea it was possible to be this furious with each of my pillows individually

— Erin *crosstalk* Ryan (@morninggloria) June 3, 2018

I only use high thread count sheets to ensure that I have the most luxurious night terrors

— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) May 23, 2013

some personal news: I’ve started sleepwalking again. please hide your candy because I will eat it

— Sam H. Escobar (@myhairisblue) April 11, 2016

You call it insomnia, I call it no one bothering me while I eat all the snacks time.

— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) July 9, 2016

Any jeans can be Pajama Jeans if you have narcolepsy!

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) October 3, 2011

Doctor: How are his night terrors?
Me: Well…they’re called night terrors.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) August 6, 2016

One thing I’m passionate about is ruining a trip by being unable to sleep the night before I leave.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 2, 2019

The best part about insomnia is it gives you more time to win every single argument you’ve ever had with someone in your head.

— Kashana (@kashanacauley) March 10, 2018

been doing one of those highly successful people habits. keeping my bed made. keeping my bed made by never going to sleep in the first place by having sleep disorder by way of highly successful anxiety

— tara shoe (@tarashoe) December 4, 2018

me: tomorrow’s
a long day gotta
get a good night’s
sleep. my brain: pic.twitter.com/1RMB4EOogR

— kim monte 🏳️‍🌈 (@KimmyMonte) June 30, 2019

I can’t sleep
I’m bored
It’s hot
It’s hot
It’s hot
I’m bored
It’s hot
It’s hot
Everything I’ve ever said to anyone is terrible

— insomnia

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) August 28, 2017

should I use my insomnia for good or for evil or for eating half a pack of string cheese

— Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) September 27, 2015

Was up all night wondering if dogs get insomnia.

— EnvyDaTropic™ (@envydatropic) July 16, 2018

One time at a hotel, I ate a mini fridge chocolate bar, while sleepwalking.
My boyfriend at the time saw me do it and said he didn’t want to wake me to tell me not to eat the chocolate bar cause it would start an argument.
We argued about letting me eat a $12 Bounty bar anyway.

— Jennifer McAuliffe (@JenniferJokes) May 21, 2018

Insomnia:
Me:
Insomnia:
Me:
Insomnia: “Cat’s In The Cradle” is a catchy tune, isn’t it?
Me:
Insomnia:
Me:
Insomnia: 🎶The cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon—
Me: I hate you.

— The Personification of Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) October 23, 2018

At the end of the day, my body is basically just a device for converting whiskey into night terrors.

— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) May 10, 2012

My look today can best be described as I didn’t sleep well last night.

— EnvyDaTropic™ (@envydatropic) June 19, 2019

Classy dog names:
Joan of Bark
Shia LeWoof
Charles Barkley
Woof Blitzer
Anderson Pooper
Arf-ony Hopkins
Kate Barkinsale

yes I have insomnia

— Robin Thede (@robinthede) November 25, 2016

2:00 AM – can’t sleep
3:00 AM – can’t sleep
4:00 AM – can’t sleep
5:00 AM – can’t sleep
5:57 AM – falls in slow motion down a dreamlike rabbit hole… the kind of sleep you only see in luxury mattress commercials
6:00 AM – ALARM

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 5, 2019

When you are awake at 4:30 in the morning for no GD reason and you check Twitter to find that (on the day you need her most) your good pal Ambien is being dragged through the mud pic.twitter.com/Uw7OB4ZYy1

— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) May 30, 2018

When people see you lying down with your eyes closed they still ask “Are you sleeping?” Me: “NO I’M TRAINING TO DIE.”

— Joshua. (@SkaterJoshh) April 23, 2013

My wife just goes to sleep when she gets tired and it’s the most impressed I ever am by anyone doing anything.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) August 8, 2017

Me: I’m going to sleep now!

My insomnia: That’s cute, that really is.

— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) June 4, 2015

wonders if night terrors experienced during daytime napping should be considered deleted scenes. I was on the edge of my bed the whole time!

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 13, 2009

My grotesque sleeping schedule is a drawback on every day except New Year’s Eve, when I can use my insomniac skill set to pass as a Young.

— Lauren O’Neal (@laureneoneal) January 1, 2019

Sleep study in the streets, sleep apnea in the sheets

— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) October 18, 2015

Me dropping my 10 yr off at her first day of school.
Me: Have fun.
Her: Bye. Where are you going?
Me: Back to sleep.

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) September 4, 2014

thanks to my newly returned insomnia i just discovered that phone sex lines A – still exist, and B – still have awful commercials

— tracy the emotional support penguin (@brokeymcpoverty) September 24, 2018

Local Insomniac Has Been Looking Forward To Collapsing Into Bed All Day, Suddenly Wired At 10 PM, More At 11

— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) January 3, 2019

ME: Why can’t I sleep?
CUP OF COFFEE FROM 4 PM: I’ve put together a list of everyone who might be mad at you.

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) February 20, 2018

People with insomnia, how do you sleep at night

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 18, 2014

‘Honestly, it’s life changing’ is a regular series where we talk about the weird and wonderful possessions we can’t imagine life without. Think of it as an ode to the mundane, bizarre and, sometimes, wholly unnecessary products in our lives.

Call me a princess: but I can’t sleep without an eye mask anymore.

I mean, I could – if I really had to. But why would I?

My obsession started when I first started dating my boyfriend who, in the 18 months before we moved in together, lived in two places with bedrooms that were as bright as the sun. The first had the kind of thin white blind you only normally see in GP surgeries; the second was on the top floor, with huge double doors leading out to a blindingly bright terrace, uselessly framed by – get this – UNLINED curtains. Sleeping was basically impossible: unless you wore an eye mask.

Now our room is pitch black at night, but every evening we still follow the same ritual. Climb into bed, plump up the pillows, put on an eye mask, turn away to sleep with our backs to each other. (Obvs, because this is clearly the best sleeping position). We probably look like weirdos, but who cares? No one can see us – and we certainly can’t see each other.

[Read More: How many hours sleep do you really need? And what happens if you don’t get them?]

I don’t think I’ve ever slept as well, and if you came for my eye mask I would not hesitate to fight you off. It has transformed my nights – and my mornings.

That gorgeous spring sunshine peeking through the crack in the curtains? Shut that shit down with your eye mask. Does your partner get up annoyingly early to go to the gym every day (not that I’m pointing fingers)? An eye mask will shield you from the awakening blaze of the Big Light.

[Read More: Forget The Big Light, Here Are 10 Of The Best Table Lamps]

Not only does it block out any chinks of brightness determined to rouse you from slumber, but I’m convinced just putting an eyemask on, helps send me to sleep. In restorative yoga, you sometimes use a weighted eye pillow – a fancy way of saying bean bag, albeit one scented with lavender – to stimulate the vagus nerve and turn on your parasympathetic nervous system (the one that makes your heart rate slow and generally chills your body out). I genuinely feel putting on an eye mask helps stimulate that.

And it also keeps me from checking my phone.

This is probably a good time to explain that I am a MASSIVE loser. I lose everything, all the time. Purses, phones, bank cards, keys – you know where this is going: I’ve even lost eye masks. If I go on holiday, or sleep away from my own bed, I take my eye mask with me. Sometimes they don’t come back. So I’ve tried my fair share of eye masks in my time – more than I’d care to admit – and know the good from the bad. 

I have two joint favourites: a pink leopard print Slip mask which was silky and luxurious AF (a gift from my BF that I stupidly lost on holiday) and an Elizabeth Scarlett one, which I bought myself (because I’m not made of money).

The latter has a cute jungle leaf print and a polyester velvet underside, which is really soothing on your eyes. And it’s filled with 63% lavender (and 37% polyester) so it smells delicious. And lavender helps you sleep, so.

[Read more from HuffPost Life: The Sleep Edition here]

Unlike previous eye masks I’ve owned, it isn’t too tight for my massive head (cheers for the morning headaches Oliver Bonas) and it’s pretty safe to wear at your in-laws (unlike the one that says “fuck off” across your eyelids).

At £20, it’s certainly more expensive than some on the market – especially those cheap and nasty ones you get for free on long-haul flights – but it’s money well spent. If you work out the cost per wear, and make sure you don’t lose it, it’s a bargain. Can you put a price on a good night’s sleep? I certainly can. 

Jungle Leaf Eye Mask, Elizabeth Scarlett, Amara, £20

More from Honestly It’s Life Changing:

• 
  ‘Instant Pot’ Electric Pressure Cooker Has A Cult Following – And Now I Know Why
  
• 
  I Have Really Strong Opinions About Gardening Gloves – And I’m Not Ashamed To Share Them
  
• 
  The Vivino App Is Like Shazam For Wine – And It Makes Me Look Like A Connoisseur
  

We all work hard to earn our money – so it shouldn’t feel like hard work to spend it well. At HuffPost Finds we’ll help you find the best stuff that deserves your cash, from the ultimate lipstick to a durable iron to replace the one that broke (RIP). All our choices are completely independent but we may earn a small commission if you click a link and make a purchase.

In our daily morning meeting, the HuffPost Life team is split into two camps: those who have stayed up late and are struggling to get going, and the people who’ve been awake for hours and ticked off half their to-do lists.

But is there any hope for those who want to swap sides?

HuffPosters Sophie and Nancy – who live at extreme ends of the sleep routine spectrum – tried to find out.

[Read more from HuffPost Life: The Sleep Edition here]

Sophie: ‘I live for an early bedtime and 8 hours sleep’

Sophie: As a child I thought one of the best things about adulthood would be staying up late; with no parents to stop me, it would be all midnight feasts and late night Donkey Kong on the Nintendo. Turns out, I was an idiot. One of the best things about being an adult is, in fact, an early bedtime and eight delightful hours of uninterrupted sleep. Especially when your alarm clock is set for six o’clock.

I wouldn’t entirely describe myself as a ‘morning lark’ – I don’t leap out of bed, fresh with enthusiasm when my alarm goes at six. I definitely need a strong tea to get me started before I reach my desk at 7.45am, but I am certainly more productive, more alert before lunchtime. For some time, I presumed that was the case for everyone – energy levels gradually depleting as the day progresses, resulting in a 4pm slump and forage for a Hobnob.

But it appears not. For some people, the optimum time for productivity is during the antisocial hours, late at night (you can tell I’m still getting to grips with this). And the idea is that I try to become one of them.

[Read More: When to exercise (and how) for a better night’s sleep]

Nancy: ‘At 1am I could conquer the world’

Nancy: I have never been a morning person – not even as a tiny baby, says my mum, who was the first to negotiate my ‘just woken’ grumps (and nappies to match). As a teen, the moods got so stormy I was ‘gently’ encouraged to eat breakfast up in my bedroom to spare the rest of the family my thunder. 

Oh, but the evening hours. So rich in potential, so live with possibility: 11pm is when my mojo kicks in; 1am, and I could conquer the world. Truly, I love nothing more than pottering round my flat after midnight. Reading and writing, snacking and scrolling, messaging fellow night owls – and all to a soundtrack of late night radio. Sailing By, Shipping Forecast, God Save The Queen, Bed.

This routine flew just fine when my job started at 10am. It’s less workable now my alarm goes off at the same time as Sophie’s and I have to face our daily 8.30am ideas meeting on five hours sleep. So I’m swapping my late finishes for her 10pm bedtime – and we’re starting on a school night. 

[Read More: How many hours sleep do you really need? And what happens if you don’t get them?]

Evening one: ‘Where does Love Island fit into this routine?’

Sophie: First obstacle to navigate: my bed partner who looks at me like I’ve asked him to eat a wasp when I mention I won’t be retiring with him at 10pm. I’ve got at least another two hours before I can justify hitting the hay. But what to do with my time? I’ve already been out for dinner with friends (coming home just before nine), had a shower including leg shave and hair wash, put away the washing and watched two 20-minute episodes of The Office. Yes it’s been pretty productive but I normally achieve all that and still make it into bed by 10.

Now comes the post-bedtime hours. I’m not enjoying them because I’m so focused on counting how many minutes of sleep are slipping away – diminishing by the second and to what end? It feels like a bizarre form of self punishment that I’ll pay for all day tomorrow, and is making me feel very anxious. (It’s at this point, I acknowledge the cult of ‘sleep wellness’ might have more influence on my sleeping habits than I previously thought.)

I end up binging a Netflix series to try and keep myself awake. I also eat a lot of biscuits. At one point, I may even have nodded off briefly on the sofa. By the time I drag myself to bed I fall asleep straight away and wake up very bleary-eyed the next day. Is it possible to feel hungover with no alcohol? 

[Read More: These are the most sleep deprived cities in the UK]

Nancy: It helps that I’m just back from holiday and well-rested, for the first night of our experiment. I’m home from work by 7 – early for me – and I’m all ready to put my holiday washing on, just as soon as I’ve uploaded my Instagram snaps (and checked out everyone else’s). I look down at my phone, then up at the clock and, shit, it’s almost 9pm. I HAVE TO BE IN BED IN AN HOUR – and I still have supper to cook and Love Island to watch. 

Something’s got to give and it’s not going to be Tommy Fury. Still, I feel a bit panicked. Forget eight hours of sleep: when I work a long day, sandwiched by a not inconsiderable cross-London commute, I feel constricted if I have anything less than six waking hours to myself in the evenings. (Neither Sophie nor I currently have kids to deal with, and I wonder how they’d affect things).

I tweet my editor in an attempt to hold myself accountable and, by some miracle (or the fact I essentially hate breaking rules), I’m in bed with the light off by 10.01pm. Never mind that I’m not asleep for another two hours. Sigh. 

Evening two: ‘I’m struggling to focus through a cloud of fog’

Sophie: Night two, and I’ve been for a run, cooked dinner, cleaned up, hoovered the flat, watched two episodes of Killing Eve and packed my bag for tomorrow. I’ve even booked a bloody smear test. I’ve definitely filled the time before bed, but it still feels like I’m just generating admin to fill the time before I’m allowed to sleep. Night owls like Nancy tell me about their late night creativity bursts – but that definitely isn’t happening to me. I’m just tired and have no motivation to do anything apart from stay on the sofa. 

The next day, I’m knackered again. Whether it’s the placebo effect (possibly) or genuine physical tiredness, I’m not sure – all I know is I’ve struggled to focus through the cloud of fog, been reliant on coffee, and have had several (fairly bad) arguments with my partner. Would I have been as irritable and, frankly, irrational had I been well rested? Who knows. Sorry to my partner for making him my sleep guinea pig.

[Read More: Wearing this eye mask to bed every night has transformed my sleep]

Nancy: I meet a friend after work, but as she has spent the entire afternoon standing in the driving rain at her daughter’s primary school sports day, she’s as ready for an early night as I am. And oddly, I actually am – it’s only been a day, but I’m – yawn – starting to feel the attraction of an enforced bedtime.

We cover off the holiday gossip at Olympian speed, keep it to one glass of rosé each (hard!) and call time on our catch-up a full two hours earlier than usual. By 9.20pm, I’m on a train across London that gets me home soon after 10, whereupon I immediately flop on to my bed.

Fatal error: that’s on, not in. Once again, I fall into the triple vortex of Whatsapp, Instagram and the Twitter meme-stream from Westminster and Majorca. By the time I get off the bed to brush my teeth and make a cup of sleepy tea, it’s half 11. It’s not that I don’t like my bed, I’m just not very good at putting myself in it. 

Evening three: ‘I’m delusional to think I’ll write my magnus opus this way’ 

Sophie: Finally, it’s the weekend – when I can enjoy staying up late without having to deal with the following morning. If I’m out, I usually start to flag by about 2am – but tonight I have more energy. Perhaps those late nights have trained me up? Maybe I’ve experienced the much-sought-after switch between morning lark and night owl? Or maybe it’s just the alcohol.

After my later night, on Sunday morning I sleep till about 9am but that is a totally normal weekend rising time for me. What I’ve never worked out is whether this propensity for a sneaky weekend lie-in is tapping into my natural body clock (and the time I’d always wake up then if I didn’t have a job to go to) or whether I’m always just making up for my early hours in the week. 

[Read More: I said I wouldn’t co-sleep – and then I did it with both my children]

Nancy: My sleep routine is actually better at weekends than during the working week: I’m often up and out for a swim by 9am and go to bed earlier than on a school night. (Underlining, perhaps, that I stay up late not because of some crazy disco body-clock, but because I simply want to fit in more me-time). However, as someone who suffers from Sunday blues in a big way, Sunday night often proves problematic. I’ll wind down around 10 with a book in the bath, only to lie for hours in bed unable to sleep.

Tonight, however, it’s different. It’s 8.22pm, and I’m doing the washing up and picking out a work outfit so I can be in bed by nine with ITV2. Even after watching Aftersun (yes, really), my light is out at 11pm – and I’m asleep before midnight for the first Sunday in weeks. This makes Monday morning manageable, rather than the achey-headed endurance test I’m used to.

[Read More: How to make your bedroom a relaxing sleep haven]

Time for an (alarm clock) reset?

Sophie: I am so glad this experiment is over – in fact I celebrated by getting into bed a whole hour earlier than normal to read my book. I know my colleagues mock me and think I basically have the routine of a toddler, but with a full-on job I don’t want to be waking up feeling exhausted every day. Yes, sleep is for when you’re dead, but I feel only half alive when I don’t get eight hours. And no, I don’t feel like I’m missing out – I still go out and socialise during the week, I just make sure I leave before nine o’clock, which seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Nancy: What have I learned? That I’m even more addicted to my phone than I feared. That I’m delusional to think I’ll get my magnum opus written by staying up late into the night (I could just pen a novel in the time I’m watching Love Island). That 11pm is still a magical hour – and Sophie and I have fundamentally different experiences of time. But that sometimes putting yourself to bed at a nice, normal time is actually the grown up thing to do.

Related…

• 
  Tired This Morning? How Night Owls Can Retrain Their Body Clocks In 4 Simple Steps
  
• 
  When To Exercise (And How) For A Better Night’s Sleep
  
• 
  12 Things To Do If You Wake Up Feeling Anxious