Thursday was another day dominated by Brexit. From questions over whether Theresa May will quit (along with a fair few of her ministers) to staunch Brexiteer Jacob Rees-Mogg lapping up the lime-light, it would be easy to think no other real news has happened.
But you would be wrong.
Here’s a round-up of the five biggest stories you might have missed (and might want to take note of for when you finally run out of things to say about Brexit down the pub this weekend).
Stormzy Steals May’s Headlines
At this point, it’s easy to believe that the country will be trapped in Brexit’s terrifying grip for the rest of time.
But nothing will ever stand in the way of Brits’ deep-seated need to trudge through knee-high mud with cans of warm cider at Glastonbury – and it was revealed today that Stormzy will headline the festival next year.
The 25-year-old – who is the first grime headliner in Glasto’s 48-year-history – confirmed the news on Instagram after posters announcing his appearance on the Pyramid Stage began to appear in local Oxfam stores.
Lord Lester Avoids The Chop
While Cabinet ministers resigned and MPs sent letters of no-confidence, the House of Lords was embroiled in its own drama.
The ban from the Lords – which would have been the longest suspension since World War II – was recommended by the House’s privileges and conduct committee, which found that the 82-year-old had broken its rules of behaviour.
But in an act of rebellion against the Parliamentary watchdog, peers voted to save Lester from suspension and to instead send the case back to the committee.
The decision sparked outrage among women’s’ rights campaigners, with Labour MP Sarah Champion calling it a “despicable perversion of justice”.
Lester strongly denies any claims of sexual harassment.
Bronson’s Failed ‘Bear Hug’
Notorious prisoner Charles Bronson hit the headlines today after he was cleared of attempting to cause GBH to a prison officer.
The 66-year-old was accused of launching himself at Mark Docherty at HMP Wakefield while screaming: “I will bite your fucking nose off and gouge your eyes out.”
But representing himself at Leeds Crown Court, Brsonson said he had intended to give Docherty a “gentle bear hug” and whisper in his ear, but tripped and fell.
The Best WTF Admission Of The Day
Then-Brexit-Secretary Dominic Raab sparked disbelief last week when he revealed he “hadn’t quite understood” the importance of the Dover-Calais crossing for UK trade.
“Since I was 25, I have been in a position of authority where secretaries and employees handle such tasks for me,” Yoshitaka Sakurada told politicians according to the Japan Times.
“I give instructions to my aide and so I don’t punch into a computer myself,” he reportedly added. “But I am confident our work is flawless.”
Taking A Stand On Cyberflashing
Reminding us all that Parliament is for more than arguing over Brexit and the EU, MPs Maria Miller and Jess Phillips told HuffPost UK in an exclusive interview that more must be done to protect women from sexual harassment.
Amid numerous accounts of women being cyberflashed on public transport, the pair said that the UK’s laws – including the new upskirting bill – are failing to keep up with developments in technology, warning that we risk “sleepwalking into a crisis”.
“There are so many different ways you can abuse images online, some of which we know about – deep fake, cyberflashing, revenge porn – some of which haven’t even been invented yet,” Miller said, adding that she has been sent unsolicited dick pics via Twitter.
Labour’s Phillips added: “I sometimes worry that campaigns like upskirting are quick turnarounds not deep cultural change. That is the bit that worries me. It was knee-jerk.”