Patriarchy has been at the lips of the zeitgeist recently. As a feminist I have enjoyed it immensely. We live in a patriarchal society-translated as basically one created by men allowing men to prosper first and foremost.
Studying women studies at university was completely enlightening for me. Question the basic norm. So it is interesting that I am starting a piece on the state of man from a place of feminism. Doubly interesting as I am writing from my hotel room gazing out on Edinburgh castle and men walking in kilts.
What feminism teaches me is to question social norms and see if this is appropriate and right. There has been a lot over the last few years on men’s mental health. The traditional sense of a man being to not talk about his emotions. I’m not sure if I ever personally felt this, however I can definitely get a sense of it having been educated largely in an all boys environment from 7-18 years old.
The rate of attempted suicide is terrifying for young heterosexual men at 18 % and the rate for attempted suicide for young gay men is almost double that at 34%. For transgender young people it’s 52%. Things are getting far better; charities and organisations such as Head Talks, Sanctus, as well as Heads Together by royal appointment are jettisoning male vulnerabilities into the 21st century and providing support and blasting away the calcium build up of shame surrounding emotions for men.
Gender fluidity is something that is growing and becoming more prevalent. Boys don’t just HAVE to wear blue. Thank god. It enrages and saddens me seeing and watching gender stereotypes reinforced by friends onto their children. As a 38 year old man I feel more confident than ever to walk around in a skirt or a dress or jeans and a T-shirt. I do it as myself – neither man or woman, simply a human expressing and loving life.
All these things are positive. So here are the things I hope and pray for.
Still a young generation of boys is being let down in education by allowing the word gay to be used as a derogatory word. A recent paper by the Church of England embracing difference is great and yet the government is devoid of any guidelines for homophobic and harmful language in schools. Most teachers still see GAY as harmless when being used in a negative manner and clearly, despite 98% of young gay males citing it as distressful in 2012 (5 years ago!), nothing rally has been done. We rest on our laurels feeling gay rights are resolved and have reached their Xanadu, yet we grossly let down our younger generation – and not just LGBT young people but heteronormative people too. Owen Jones says the people to suffer from homophobia the most are young straight males. Get your head around it and he is right I believe. We do them a disservice by telling them this is how wrong to be gay is. Yes, the associations linked to being gay and other at school are right in their disgust and repulsion. Government need to produce guidelines and education to change this language just as they have done for anti religious and race rhetoric as well as sexism – for sexism still reins supreme now often against the young male; calling boys a wimp, stop crying, of course you should do sports etc…
Please please please allow the educations system to continue to grow in embracing difference by stamping out any harmful misuse of language. This isn’t political correctness gone wrong it is simply common sense. Challenge the norm as feminists have been doing for generations – it serves all well.