Louise Redknapp has said she experienced suicidal thoughts in the aftermath of her split from ex-husband Jamie.
The Heavy Love singer and former footballer were married for almost 20 years, with Louise announcing that they had gone their separate ways in 2017.
In a new interview with You magazine, Louise has spoken about the personal struggles she faced in the wake of the break-up, including the fact that she considered taking her own life at one stage.
“I sank to my knees, crouched down by the radiator and sobbed and sobbed,” she recalled. “That was the first time I ever wondered whether I would be better off not being here.”
She continued: “For a split second, I was like, ‘I would really like this all to go away’.”
Referring to her two sons, she added: “But I’ve got two little men I know need me more than anything… they’re the only thing that kept me going. Them and my mum.”
Prior to their split, Louise had been taking time out from the spotlight, while Jamie’s career as a sports pundit and TV personality was starting to gain speed.
“Although I was so pleased for him, it was a constant reminder that I wasn’t doing that any more,” she said.
“I was the one just putting stuff in the oven, waiting for someone to come home from the job I wished I was doing. And I think that really does take its toll.”
She eventually called time on the relationship months after making the final of Strictly Come Dancing in 2016, telling the magazine: “I didn’t want to lose so much of the good feeling. Before anyone could stop me, I just ran, as fast as the wind would take me.
“I never once looked behind, until maybe too late. I should have paused for a minute and thought about other people and had just a bit more time to work out why I felt I couldn’t do it anymore.
“All I know is, I wish I’d tried.”
Since her split from Jamie, Louise appeared as the lead in a touring production of Cabaret and in the West End show 9 To 5, as well as releasing her first album in almost two decades, Heavy Love.
Louise spoke to You magazine in the lead-up to the release of her new book You’ve Got This: And Other Things I Wish I’d Known.
She said of the autobiograpjy: “I hope I don’t make trouble with Jamie. I’m not horrible about him in any way, shape or form.”
Last year, Louise said she felt “invisible” and “less of a person” towards the end of her marriage, but insisted she still “adores” her ex-husband.
Useful websites and helplines
Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
