Three months after suffering a pregnancy loss, Chrissy Teigen is opening up about how it affected her body. 

The model and cookbook author shared a recent image of herself.

“Even though I’m no longer pregnant, every glance in the mirror reminds me of what could have been,” she captioned the image.

“And I have no idea why i still have this bump, honestly. It’s frustrating. But I’m proud of where this entire journey took my body and mind in other ways. I love being pregnant, so so much, and I’m sad I never will be again.”

But she feels lucky, she said, to have her two children Luna, 2, and Miles, 4, who are “transforming into big little people more and more every single day.”

In early October, Teigen and her husband, John Legend, shared news of the heartbreaking loss of their third child ― a son they’d named Jack ― after weeks of pregnancy complications.

Teigen has been open about the mental and physical journey she’s been on since then. Last month, she said the past two months had been “brutal, exhausting, sad, physically challenging, mentally painful bitches,” but she was beginning to feel like herself again.

“I already see the leaves as orange instead of grey, realized the sky is indeed blue and not black and horn honks on my forced morning walks only bring me to my knees half the time,” she wrote. “I can make it up my stairs only stopping once or twice instead of every other, and can get out of the bathtub all by myself as long as I have the promise john will dry me off.”