Just when you thought Twitter had lost its sense of humour for good, along come a load of ridiculous Les Dennis-inspired fake stories to take the edge off.
Let us explain.
It all started when the comedian and actor called out one Twitter user, ‘Rick’, who claimed he met Les at the Brewers Fayre pub in Warrington, accusing the former Coronation Street star of having a severe case of the don’t-you-know-who-I-ams.
Rick tweeted: “What a disappointment!!!! Refused to have a picture with me and swore at my 2 year old son. #Disappointed.”
Met @LesDennis today in the Brewers Fayre in Warrington. What a disappointment!!!! Refused to have a picture with me and swore at my 2 year old son. #Disappointed
— Rick (@RickB560) March 8, 2020
But Les wasn’t having any of it, and quickly shut down Rick, accusing him of making the whole thing up.
“No you didn’t. I am at home and have been all day,” he tweeted, adding: “Don’t lie.”
No you didn’t. I am at home and have been all day. Don’t lie. https://t.co/IqC49DPxaI
— Les Dennis (@LesDennis) March 8, 2020
Cue lots of people getting very creative with their tall stories of meeting the showbiz legend resulting in Les trending on Twitter…
I met Les Dennis in a cave in Colwyn Bay. He refused to tie my laces for me as he claimed he didn’t do ‘freebies’ in dimly lit bat infested welsh holes. He kicked my dog up the arse and threatened if I ever used that cave again he’d eat my family #disappointed
— Sammy Walnuts 🌹 (@dj_walnuts) March 9, 2020
I met Les Dennis when I was shipwrecked on a desert island. He came out of the water in a gold larme bikini carrying a four pack of Special Brew and a box of Pork Scratchings. Did he share? Did he fuck.
— GLEN PIERCE (@GlenFearce1) March 9, 2020
Just met Les Dennis in Sainsburys in Stockport. What a disappointment!!! Refused to pay for my shopping and then saw him opening all of the jars of coffee, piercing the foil with his thumb before putting the lids back on and giggling to himself.#Disappointed
— Esarty (@esarty) March 9, 2020
I once saw Les Dennis in a charity shop in Northallerton. I asked him if he could pass me a jigsaw, which he was blocking with his body, he responded by striking me on the head with a badly scratched Phil Collins cd. I left the shop, bruised and jigsawless #lesdennis
— Hoby Penhaligon (@HobyPenhaligon) March 9, 2020
#lesdennis I was living on the moon in 1969 when Les Dennis landed with his mates. He stole my child's golf balls and didn't even bring any chocolate. The tight bastard.
— richy roo (@richyroo73) March 9, 2020
Once met Les Dennis in a cove in Cornwall in 1974. He told me that he was an ancient sea rambler, washed up on the shore that morning. I asked him to sing me a sea shanty of his people and he told me to fuck off. Since then, I've never watched another episode of #familyfortunes
— Crystal Von Mazel (@nedajaffa) March 9, 2020
I once dressed as Mavis from Corrie for a fancy dress party. As I got in a lift at the venue, who was there, but LES DENNIS.
I smiled & said, “Must be like looking in a mirror!”
The rage he flew into would have suited a roided-up MMA fighter as he ripped my costume from my torso.— Greg Scott (@GregScottTV) March 9, 2020
Les Dennis stole my bin last night and painted his house number onto it, then stood at the end of his driveway and dared me to take it back. He's been staring at me for the last 16 hours. I wouldn't mind but I stole it from him in the first place.@LesDennis#disappointed
— Luckrequired (@gill_manny) March 9, 2020
Met Les Dennis yesterday whilst walking with my family in The Peak District… he stopped and had a photo with me and baby… but then whispered in my ear if I dare put it on any of my Social Media, he will hunt me down and make me watch him whilst he eats my children. What a guy
— frankievox (@yikesyikes222) March 9, 2020
I met Les Dennis once at a chip shop in Scarborough, I asked him to pass me the salt, he'd slyly unscrewed the top and ruined my fish and chip supper. I asked him to replace it so he flipped me the V sign called me a chubby chick and said he'd done me a favour, so rude #lesdennis
— Jenny Smith (@JennySm39142180) March 9, 2020
I met Les Dennis at Glastonbury in 1993. He gave ecstacy to an otter and put it in my tent. Then he lied and said Lenny Kravitz did it, before going off to throw dog poo at The Orb on the NME Stage. He also had a wee in the drip trays in the beer tent. #disappointedpic.twitter.com/MSZOpuYI8V
— Pulp Librarian (@PulpLibrarian) March 9, 2020
Met Les Dennis whilst volunteering at the local old folks home, told me he had tested positive for coronavirus and insisted on spitting in the tea cups. Lovely guy though and happily posed for pictures and entertained the residents with his Mavis impressions for 4 hours.
— misunderstood Moyes (@misunde68152141) March 9, 2020
Mixed news on the Les Dennis front for me today. He kindly popped round, did my washing for me then popped it on hangers above the radiator so it would be nice and dry, but he also ransacked my Quality Streets leaving me only with toffee pennies and them shit coconut things. pic.twitter.com/fzJWIfnWF8
— Super Kevin Bremner (@skb777) March 9, 2020
I once met Les Dennis when I was working at a soup kitchen. Asked him to do his impression of Mavis from Corrie in exchange for a bowl of Cock-a-Leekie. To be honest, it sounded more like that woman from Dinnerladies. Never meet your heroes! 😥
— Paul P-C 🇬🇧❤️🇪🇺 (@TheRealPaulPC) March 9, 2020
Met Les Dennis in the Welsh valleys, shotgun in hand whilst he was hunting people for sport. I remember him saying "Tell anyone what you have seen here today and i will eradicate your existence"
He then shook my hand and signed an autograph.
Top bloke.
— Darren Likes Tea (The Drink) (@Daz95864700) March 9, 2020
@LesDennis I met Les Dennis today, he was in his shed crossing the coronavirus with ice cream, he then sold the ice cream to my pet cat #disappointed
— koopa (@kpa421) March 9, 2020
I was just sat next to Les Dennis on a Megabus to Ipswich.
I said Les, remember that soap character you always used to do the impression of, what was her name?
He replied "ooh, I don't really know"
But I'm sure he did, I mean he made a career off that impression. #disappointed— Lou Mac (@loumacarichippy) March 9, 2020
I once broke down on the side of the A63 and Les stopped his car, replaced the tire himself then, as he was about to leave, took my face in his hands, whispered 'You'll get through this' whilst holding back tears, kissed me delicately on the cheek and drove away
— Ross Brierley (@ItsRossBrierley) March 9, 2020
Just seen Les Dennis panic buying loo rolls in Sedgefield Sainsburys. He told me he'd had to hospitalise several pensioners at Newton Aycliffe Aldi to get a trolley full.
— Marc #OpenSelection (@MarcAntonyGreen) March 9, 2020
Looked through my telescope in the garden last night. I saw Les Dennis doing a spacewalk in orbit, trying to divert an asteroid so it would collide with Earth. Very disappointed.
— Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) March 9, 2020
Couldn’t have been Les, he’s banned from that Brewers Fayre after pissing the bar staff off one time too many by saying “well I don’t really know” at least half a dozen times like he always did when they asked him what he was drinking
— Tony Munky (@TonyMunky) March 9, 2020
I remember meeting Les Dennis as a kid. I asked him for his autograph. He looked me straight in the eye as he reached into his pocket, pulled out a turtle, and took a huge bite out of it like it was a pasty.
— Senator Bison Sexhorn & Knuckles, III (@Brainmage) March 9, 2020
I was in Tescos today in Isle of Wight….Where Les Dennis lives…In the world food section… that’s where lives. He Refused to show me where to find cheap chickpea tins. #disappointed
— Nitin Ganatra (@GanatraNitin) March 8, 2020
And Twitter’s bare-faced lies went down well with the TV star, who was finding it all highly amusing.
All the I met Les Dennis posts are making me laugh out loud. You’re all making me see that Twitter can be a great place despite the odd idiot. Thank you all.
— Les Dennis (@LesDennis) March 9, 2020
“All the I met Les Dennis posts are making me laugh out loud,” he wrote. “You’re all making me see that Twitter can be a great place despite the odd idiot. Thank you all.”
Nice work, Twitter.