Sometimes it feels like we’ve all experienced the same bad dates, with the same people we’re never going to hear from again. At least we’re all in this together.
Below, we’ve culled 29 tweets that are all too relatable if you’re currently single.
Me: I speak Dutch & Turkish
Guys on dating apps: Ok, but do you speak sarcasm??— defne gencler (@omgitsdef) January 13, 2020
1.
just saw a tinder bio that said “looking for the dunder mifflin to my michael scott”….the locals aren’t even trying anymore
— marianne williamson’s himalayan salt strap (@realbigv1) October 22, 2019
2.
no greater shame than redownloading a dating app…. it’s like yes, I would like to be disrespected by a stranger
— ziwe (@ziwe) April 12, 2019
3.
should i date the armenia marriott pic.twitter.com/25pJsiS57C
— Lara Parker (@laraeparker) April 22, 2019
4.
Someone on tinder just unmatched me mid-conversation because I said I liked ketchup so yes it's going great
— Kendra 🐖 (@kendrawcandraw) June 23, 2019
5.
Dating is so hard. Like, what does it mean when a guy doesn’t watch your Instagram stories, doesn’t like your tweets, doesn’t respond to your texts, and is dating someone else?
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) January 18, 2020
6.
Dating seems fun on paper but I have to go to a BAR?? After EIGHT???? And TALK to someone??????? Ugh what is this Italy in the 1930s
— Hollis Jane Andrews (@hollis_jane) June 5, 2019
7.
There’s nobody crazier than someone who says they have the best dating stories.
— Jared Freid (@jtrain56) October 24, 2019
8.
Bumble is a fun app because it goes to great lengths to paint the illusion that you won't die alone.
— Charlotte Clymer 🏳️🌈 (@cmclymer) December 23, 2019
9.
Dating app catchphrases :
Hinge: wanna date a guy named Caleb who’s a “senior content manager”?
Bumble: Wanna date a guy named Josh who loves mescal?
Tinder: Wanna date a guy named Dylan who has a six pack and doesn’t clean his bathroom?
Raya: Wanna date Matthew Perry?
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) February 6, 2020
10.
Just thinking about the time when I took a girl on a date and she ended up meeting her future husband in between us leaving the restaurant and before getting into my car in the parking lot
— Kyle Fitzy (@kylefitzy8) December 8, 2019
11.
A dating app but instead it’s just my future husband or wife and they knock on my door after teleporting in and say “I’m sorry I’m late. I know you’re exhausted. let me make you some tea”
— Stephanie Mickus (@smickable) November 4, 2019
12.
saw a tinder profile where the girl’s first pic is her sitting on the toilet. that is some chaotic energy that i both respect and want no part of
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) May 9, 2019
13.
date: [pulls away from kissing] let's move this to your bed
me: [sitting on a futon] you're not gonna believe this— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) September 21, 2019
14.
me on every first date pic.twitter.com/piYGr4OYj5
— Liz Plank (@feministabulous) February 25, 2020
15.
priest: confess, my child, and god shall forgive all of your sins
me: really? all of them?
priest: yes, that's how it works
me: wow cool. so i made my tinder photo a pic of me holding a fish
priest: [hand to earpiece] ok yeah, god says no
— the hype (discount the devil) (@TheHyyyype) January 25, 2020
16.
*first date*
me: okay i will not mention or talk about my third nipple tonight because that might creep them out
me (after one beer): okay so you know how tricycles have 3 tires instead of 2
— frankencline (@consensualcline) March 10, 2019
17.
Just found some garlic bread in my pocket that I stole at a party, if you needed another reason to date me.
— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) August 1, 2019
18.
me trying to flirt over loud music at the club: WHAT’S YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) December 29, 2019
19.
me, asking a girl out on a date pic.twitter.com/FO1Nw8393X
— Flexington Ave Local (@Dr_TacoMD) August 9, 2016
20.
dating me is like a piano: really fun & expensive at first but then thru the years it starts to get out of tune & you just kind of get tired of it taking up so much space but it would be a hassle to move so you just post it for free on Craigslist until some other sucker takes it
— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) July 22, 2019
21.
[watching GoodFellas with date]
ME: Those are the fellas.
HER: Okay.
ME: *leans in close* They are good.
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) September 25, 2019
22.
good first date questions:
-do you sort utensils while loading the dishwasher
-give some examples of socioeconomic inequality
-what are your 3 most frequent searches on pornhub
-are you a cop
-in 5 years do you see yourself wearing matching pajamas with me— Sweatpants Cher ⚫️ (@House_Feminist) April 22, 2019
23.
some news: a guy from a dating app referred to my vagina as “Little Lara” almost three hours ago and I am still not even close to being over it pic.twitter.com/GIYMeUfmI1
— Lara Parker (@laraeparker) April 11, 2019
24.
Open dating app
Respond “I’m good you” to 15 “hi how are you?” messages
Close dating app
Repeat— Erika W. Smith (@erikawynn) March 3, 2020
25.
[First Date At Cinema]
Me: *whispering* ᵀʰᵉˢᵉ ⁿᵃᶜʰᵒˢ ʷᵉʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗᵒ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ— Brynnester (@brynnester) September 19, 2018
26.
Dating a straight man starter pack pic.twitter.com/NaBbdYe9cE
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) August 2, 2019
27.
Dating apps: my boyfriend and I are looking for a third
Me: wow, some of us don’t even have 1rds
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@SJSchauer) January 19, 2020
28.
my friend asked me to take her new tinder pics. i hope she finds love 🥺 pic.twitter.com/itaNcQMPxL
— Shannon Beveridge (@nowthisisliving) February 24, 2020
29.