It’s cold. It’s dark. It’s best to stay inside as much as possible. Now is the season of JOMO: the joy of missing out. Clear your schedule, put on some telly and really relax – you’ve earned it. Lean into your natural laziness, make like a bear and stay horizontal in the warm until the sun comes out again.
To help you achieve maximum cosiness at this frigid time, we’ve scoured the internet and brought you some of the snuggliest blankets and throws you could ever want.
Some of them are basic, tasteful, even classy; others have Jeff Goldblum’s topless torso printed on them. We’ve got something for everyone, that’s what we’re saying here. Please, go forth and get cuddly.
Personalised Recycled Wool Blanket in Buchanan Antique, The Tartan Blanket Co, via Not On The High Street, £35
The only thing better than tartan is more tartan. This blanket is made of recycled wool and other fabrics that would otherwise have made their way into landfill. So that nobody tries to steals your cosy throw, get your name or initials printed on it.
Cranberry Merino Herringbone Throw, Bottle Green Homes, via Not On The High Street, £130
Just saying the description of this blanket out loud makes you 30% more posh. If you’re after a stylish, elegant blanket that’s almost good enough to wear as am accessory, you can’t do better than cranberry merino herringbone.
John Lewis & Partners Luxury Plush Fleece Throw, John Lewis, £50
This is the basic bitch of blankets and we love it. If you’re after something plain and tasteful but deliciously cosy, this could be your best bet. Comes in natural and grey shades.
Winthome Long Fleece Blanket With Sleeves, Amazon, £19.99
If you’d like to literally wear your blanket, then please, invest in one that comes with sleeves. It’ll keep you warm while allowing you to move your arms around, enabling such tasks as pointing the television remote and moving snacks towards your face.
Quilted Velvet Throw, Idyll Home, via Not On The High Street, £189
If you’re like “Hey! Just show me a classic, plain blanket! Enough with all these embellishments! I like my cosiness to be minimalist!” then here you are. This quilted velvet throw comes in chalk, camel, soft grey, blush pink, dark grey, midnight blue, peacock and sand.
Topless Jeff Goldblum Sherpa Blanket, Memeskins, via Etsy, £42.75
For those of you who require a blanket with Jeff Goldblum’s topless torso printed on it. It’s just like that time there was a bigger-than-life-size Jeff Goldblum statue in London, only smaller and cuddlier.
Personalized Luxury Photo Blanket, The Drifting Bear Co, via Not On The High Street, was £75, now £60
The only thing better than a plain blanket is a blanket with someone’s pet, face or favourite person on it. This makes a perfect gift, either for yourself or someone you like very much.
Bedsure Flannel Fleece Throw Blankets Navy Blue Travel Size, Amazon, £10.99
Has the colour navy ever done anything wrong? No. It’s the perfect shade. This navy blue flannel fleece throw will spruce up any bed, sofa or lap.
Mermaid Tail Blanket, Amazon, £19.34
Look, some adult human beings like the idea of wearing a crochet mermaid tail for comfort, warmth and fashion reasons. We respect and support them at this time and always.
Fleece Checked Throw, Marks and Spencer, was £45, now £31
If you looked up the word “blanket” in some sort of visual dictionary, you may well find a picture of this Marks and Spencer classic. It’s timeless and wonderfully cosy.
Hexuan Comfy Hoodie Sweatshirt Blanket, Amazon, £32.88
The only sure-fire way to improve a blanket is to give it a hoodie extension. For anyone who ever looked at a normal blanket and thought to themselves “how do I keep my head warm?”
ZZZNEST Weighted Blanket For Adults, Amazon, £34.99
Weighted blankets are designed to help you feel calm. They’re suitable for anyone who feels a little gloomy about the state of the world, but especially great for people who have anxiety or trouble sleeping.
John Lewis & Partners Faux Fur Throw, John Lewis, £150
Wrap this faux fur throw around you like a cloak and pretend you’re Cruella De Ville. You know, if you’re bored or whatever.
Related…
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