In an ideal world, marriage is all smiles, love and happily ever after “until death do us part” – but sometimes life has other ideas.
This weekend, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth announced their split after less than a year of marriage, saying they have evolved “as partners and individuals” and plan to “focus on themselves and [their] careers” going forward.
In light of the news, HuffPost UK spoke to people who tied the knot and separated within 12 months about why going their separate ways was ultimately the right decision for them.
Sarah*, 30, from Dorset had been with her ex husband for nine months when he proposed. “I was pregnant at the time, after a whirlwind start to the relationship, and I think this had a big part in his decision to get married,” she says. “By the time the wedding came round we were already quite unhappy but things worsened afterwards and we were arguing constantly.”
[Read More: Miley Cyrus And Liam Hemsworth Split After Less Than A Year Of Marriage]
The pair split eight months after the wedding, which Sarah was “extremely embarrassed” about at first. But now she is glad they made the choice, because they are both in happy relationships with other people. “Having a failed marriage has actually been a positive thing for me as it has shown me how strong I am as a person, something I didn’t realise beforehand,” she says.
Rob Palk, 38, from Leicester, had been with his ex-partner Poppy for three years when he proposed. She’d helped him through a terrifying time when he’d been diagnosed with a brain haemorrhage and he felt “some sort of gesture [was] called for”.
“We were already living together so this seemed the only option left, although a decent holiday or a meal out might have been more sensible,” he says.
They realised they’d grown apart four months into the marriage – prompted by an unusual pursuit – Poppy had become engrossed in protesting the badger cull, and Rob says: “Much as I quite like badgers, this proved too great an incompatibility for both of us.”
He has since penned a book, Animal Lovers, about their short marriage, while Poppy has also blogged about the topic, saying: “Over the years, our jagged painful breakup has given way to a supportive and loving friendship.”
“The decision proved to be the right one because ultimately we’re both happier and perhaps better friends to one another than we were as married people, a state which didn’t suit us,” Rob adds.
[Read More: Rules, Rants And Toilet Sex – Embarrassing Wedding Stories Shared By Guests]
Splitting didn’t actually mark the end of the road for Michelle Shulman, 41 and her husband Dan, 43, from Bedfordshire.
The pair had been together for three years before they got married in 1998, but separated four months after the ceremony and sold the house they’d bought together. After six months apart they decided to give it another try and have now been married for 21 years.
“We separated as we had a lot of family stuff going on that started to affect us as a couple. It was a lot of pressure on a pair of young newly weds. Looking back we didn’t prioritise each other as much as we should have,” Michelle says.
But time apart to reflect strengthened their relationship, she says.
“We have a lot more respect for each other, and our differences. We also just focus on each other and our children and don’t worry too much about external influences.”
*Some names have been changed to offer anonymity.
