1. Realising you’re not useless

As the due date for your first baby approaches, it’s pretty normal to be brimming with insecurities about your capabilities as a parent.

Thing is, most of the stuff that seemed intimidatingly complicated beforehand – putting a nappy on the right body part the right way around, supporting a baby’s head AND remembering to keep hold of the rest of its body – will be second nature within a couple of weeks. That deserves a pat on the back.

2. Hello ready-made excuse

Let’s face it, we end up at most social events because, when the pressure’s on, we can’t think of a good enough reason not to go. But no one can argue with someone who has a child. “I’ll see if I can get a babysitter” closely (but not too closely) followed by “we couldn’t get a babysitter”, are two small phrases that have saved so many parents from small talk with colleagues from accounting.

3. You’re a hero

This one won’t last. But there won’t be another time in your life when you’re worshipped so devoutly by someone. In a small child’s eyes, nothing is beyond you and everything you say is absolute fact. This a powerful position to be in and one in which you must take responsibility; it’s not the time to convince them pandas are just polar bears that like drawing on themselves.  

4. All the firsts

The first time they grip your finger with their tiny hand, the first time they write their name, the first time they speak in assembly… right the way through to the first time they bring home your grandchild, and beyond. There’s no shortage of moments to make your lip wobble.

5. And the jokes

This is another first, but it’s so good it deserves its own spot. When your child is funny, not with a piece of unintentional slapstick because they’re young and rubbish at everything, but with a moment of off-the-cuff wit. It might just be an eyebrow raised at exactly the right time or they might come out with something Oscar Wilde would be proud of…

6. Your good work coming good

Teaching your child how to be a civilised member of society. Teaching them right from wrong. It all feels a bit pointless when they insist on behaving like they’re living in a Mad Max dystopia in the sand pit. Then, one day, you’ll watch them making friends for life on the school bus and realise it was all worthwhile.  

7. Creating a playmate for life

Carving out time for yourself is almost impossible when you have children. That’s why you need to get them involved. If, say, you want to spend an entire afternoon watching football the only way you can do it with a clear conscience is if one of your children wants to do it with you. With luck you’ll create a shared passion that lasts a lifetime.    

8. Bedtime, glorious bedtime

If you thought you liked evenings before you had kids. Just wait. They are the sunny uplands. The reward for surviving the toughest of tough days. The reward that keeps parents going through the slings and arrows of outrageous tantrums all the way through to the ‘stroppy teen’ years.