Karl Lagerfeld, who has died at the age of 85, will be remembered as much for his high-end fashion designs as his acerbic one-liners.
Never one to shy away from saying exactly what he was thinking – from fashion and vanity, to kids and errrm, sweatpants – here we look back at his most memorable Karl-isms.
Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.”
I’m a kind of fashion nymphomaniac who never gets an orgasm.”
Work is making a living out of being bored.”
Vanity is the healthiest thing in life.”
I am like a caricature of myself, and I like that. It is like a mask. And for me the Carnival of Venice lasts all year long.”
I remember a designer who said that intelligent women don’t wear her dresses. Obviously, she went bankrupt.”
Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants.”
Don’t dress to kill, dress to survive.”
Be politically correct, but please don’t bother other people with conversation about being politically correct, because that’s the end of everything. You want to create boredom? Be politically correct in your conversation.”
[Children] grow so fast, and having adult children makes you look 100 years old. I don’t want that.”
Normally, I don’t recommend me for wedding dresses – they all get a divorce.”
I live in a set, with the curtains of the stage closed with no audience – but who cares?”
When I was a child, my mother always told me that you could wake up in the middle of the night and be deathly sick, so you always have to be impeccable. I laugh about it now, but I think everyone should go to bed like they have a date at the door.”
I like nothing better than concrete reality. I’m a very down-to-earth person, but it is my job to make that earth more pleasant.”
I never touch sugar, cheese, bread… It was a very good, healthy thing, the best move in my life, I think, but it’s totally effortless. I only like what I’m allowed to like. I’m beyond temptation. There is no weakness.”
Life is not a beauty contest, some [ugly people] are great. What I hate is nasty, ugly people. The worst is ugly short men. Women can be short, but for men it is impossible. It is something that they will not forgive in life – they are mean and they want to kill you.”
Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn’t.”
I think tattoos are horrible. It’s like living in a Pucci dress full-time.”
I drink Diet Coke from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed.”
I hate intellectual conversation with intellectuals because I only care about my opinion.”
I’m not a chambermaid whom you can ring at every moment. Today, you know, most people act like they work at a switchboard in a hotel.”
If you throw money out of the window throw it out with joy. Don’t say: ‘one shouldn’t do that’ – that is bourgeois.”
I’m rather pro-prostitution. I admire people who do it. It can’t be much fun. Thank goodness for it. People need relief or they become murderers.”
When I was a child I asked my mother what homosexuality was about and she said – and this was 100 years ago in Germany and she was very open-minded – ‘It’s like hair colour. It’s nothing. Some people are blonde and some people have dark hair. It’s not a subject.’ This was a very healthy attitude.”
I don’t go to movie theatres because I don’t want to be photographed by strangers. People bother me wherever I go. I like to imagine the world my way. I don’t want second-rate images of the world.”
