When we think about domestic abuse we often forget the hidden victims: children.  An estimated 250,000 children in England are living in homes filled with fear today. Yet not enough is being done to support them. 

Behind Closed Doors: Through the Eyes of the Child is a documentary that will help bring child survivors out from behind closed doors. Four incredibly brave children have spoken out about their experiences of growing up in a home with an abusive parent. All of the children’s experiences are unique but what viewers will hear from the children themselves is that they did not just witness domestic abuse, they experienced it too. 

From our work with survivors and their children, we at Women’s Aid know that domestic abuse has a devastating and long-lasting impact on children’s wellbeing, health, development and also their safety. 

Child survivors tell us that they constantly felt like they were walking on eggshells in their own home, that they often tried to manage the abuser’s behaviour to protect their mothers. In some cases, domestic abuse and the physical abuse of children goes hand-in-hand. Like their mother, they too are also controlled, emotionally abused and in some cases physically harmed.

Kirstie, the eldest daughter of Natalie Hemming who was murdered by her partner Paul Hemming in 2016, is one of the child survivors who has courageously spoken out about her family’s experience in Behind Closed Doors.

Like many child survivors, she was scared of her step-dad but didn’t really understand what was going on. She thought that this happened in everyone’s home. Before her mum was murdered, Kirstie thought it was normal to be forced to stand in the naughty corner overnight just because her step-dad had found a mouldy apple in the bottom of her school bag. Such was the level of control he exerted over the entire family.

Kirstie was not known to children’s social care services despite previous police call outs. But she is now campaigning to make sure that no child faces domestic abuse alone. As an ambassador for Operation Encompass, an innovative project which works to ensure that the police tell the school about a domestic abuse incident in the child’s home before the start of the next school day, Kirstie wants to make sure that every child survivor is supported.

As a society we often forget that children also experience domestic abuse. By not recognising children’s lived experiences of domestic abuse, society is failing child survivors every single day.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the cuts to vital children’s specialist support services. People are always shocked when I tell them that over half of residents in refuge are children, yet there is no guaranteed funding for them. Currently only two thirds of refuges are able to fund a specialist children’s support worker and there has been a 10% fall between 2010-2017 in the number of domestic abuse services that are able to provide dedicated support to children and young people. This just isn’t good enough.

This is made worse by local authority and NHS budget squeezes which means that there is even less support for children across the board and children are facing longer waiting times to access children and adolescent mental health services. It is clear that not enough is being done to support children who are experiencing domestic abuse and this is putting children at further risk.

Through our work with Operation Encompass, we know that better information sharing and collaboration between agencies, like the police and schools, can greatly improve the support made available for children. However, this is only one piece of the jigsaw in our response to domestic abuse and how we support and protect child survivors.

Firstly, we need a step change in our attitude toward children and domestic abuse. By recognising that children not only witness domestic abuse but also experience it, we can bring children from out of the shadows and make it everyone’s business to support children experiencing domestic abuse.

Secondly, we need the resources to ensure that every child can get the specialist support they need. Although the funding announced as part of the draft domestic abuse bill for children’s projects is welcome, this will only be a sticking plaster. It does not offer a sustainable funding future for these vital projects or help address the postcode lottery of support available for children throughout the country. The domestic abuse bill, coming later this year, must deliver the resources as well as the legislation needed to make sure that every survivor and her child can rebuild their lives free from fear and abuse.

This documentary has given child survivors a voice. But it is now up to society to listen and act so no child is forced to face domestic abuse alone.

Sian Hawkins is Head of Campaigns and Public Affairs at Women’s Aid. Behind Closed Doors: Through the Eyes of a Child airs at 9pm, Wednesday 6 Feb, on BBC TWO

• Refuge– Domestic violence help for women and children – 0808 2000 247
• Visit Women’s Aid– support for abused women and children – or call the National Domestic Violence Helpline, run by Women’s Aid and Refuge, on 0808 2000 247
• Broken Rainbow– The LGBT domestic violence charity – 0845 2 60 55 60
• Men’s Advice Linefor advice and support for men experiencing domestic violence and abuse – 0808 801 0327