Kids say some pretty hilarious things without realising it, but when they actually try to make jokes, it’s not always a slam dunk.
Still, there’s humour in the attempt. The hilarious parents of Twitter have shared their children’s knock-knock joke fails, baffling riddles and more.
We’ve rounded up 40 funny tweets about kids’ attempts at jokes. Enjoy!
Nothing prepares you for the torment when your kid first learns how to tell a knock knock joke.
— The Dad (@thedad) December 12, 2018
Kid, excitedly: knock knock
Me: who’s there?
Kid: umm
Me, sighing: fucking hell mate
My daughter has a joke for you. "Why did the chicken cross the chicken? Well to get to the other chicken, of course."
— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) June 24, 2011
Establish dominance by replying to your kid’s “Knock knock” joke with “Door’s open.”
— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) March 3, 2020
Good morning! Here's a joke for you from my 6yo daughter.
— Karen Cole 💙 (@karlou) February 20, 2014
How did the fire cross the river?
It didn't.
My kids make the best comedy duo because my 5yo tells jokes that make no sense and my 8yo condescendingly deconstructs exactly why they don’t work.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 24, 2018
Kids: *tells poop joke*
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 5, 2019
Kid: *tells butt joke*
Kid: *tells fart joke*
Me: *farts*
Kid: Ewww, Mom.
Me: What, not a fan of live comedy?
One time in elementary school I tried to make a joke about my family being poor and I got the words destitute and prostitute mixed up and the parent-teacher conferences were weird after that.
— 🥴steph🥴 (@eff_yeah_steph) October 1, 2019
The only knock-knock joke my toddler knows is the one that has a million knocks and no punch line.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) January 13, 2015
My kids telling a joke:
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) February 27, 2014
A penguin and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then I forgot the punchline because I got distracted by video games.
A funny joke my 5 year old daughter told me today: "What did the fish say to the whale? Get in the sea or else you'll die."
— The Dad (@thedad) February 13, 2015
4: Knock knock!
— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) April 30, 2020
Me: Who's there?
4: Someone's here? Let me go see!
[runs off to front door]
Me: No, that's not how it goes-
[sighs & closes his college savings account]
Dear child who thinks they are funny:
— Brent Almond (@DesignerDaddy) June 8, 2017
Repeating "GET IT?! GET IT?! GET IT?!" after you say something does not make it a joke.
"Mom. Are you kitten me right meow?!"
— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) May 25, 2015
-my daughter's attempt at a joke. I'm so proud.
4: knock knock
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 14, 2020
me: who’s there
4: why did the chicken and duck cross the road
me: um…
4: it’s the cows house!
me:
4: it’s a punchline!!
It’s been 0 days since my daughter didn’t make a poop joke at the table… again.
— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) December 15, 2018
5: "Is this a library sound?"
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) October 8, 2015
Me: ..
5: ..
Me: ..
5: ..
Me: "I didn't hear anyth–"
5: "SSHHHH. Hahaha!!"
– my daughter's new favorite joke
My son just learned about riddles, but also doesn't understand anything about riddles, so he keeps blurting out stuff like, “Why did the turtle cross the road? HE DIDN'T HE'S DEAD.”
— The Dad (@thedad) September 26, 2020
me: why did the chicken cross the road?
— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) June 28, 2020
daughter: to get to the other side?
me: to visit the smart and daring princess
[5 minutes later]
me: knock knock
daughter: who’s there
me: it’s me, the chicken
Daughter: what did dad cow say to baby cow?
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) February 26, 2020
Me: I don’t know.
Daughter: it’s pasture bedtime : )
Me: good one!
Daughter: thanks!
Me: hey that reminds me it is past your bedtime.
Daughter:
Me:
Daughter: [under breath] couldn’t wait til morning to tell that joke could you.
My daughter told a joke and then said, "Guys, that was so funny, I'm going to say it again." Cancel the DNA test. She's mine.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) November 13, 2010
My daughter wanted me to share this knock, knock joke she came up with for me, the family's known introvert:
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) February 8, 2020
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who the hell knows. Daddy is the only one home and he's hiding under the blanket so nobody sees him.
Tried to teach 3 yo a joke today but he was too worried the chicken would be hit by our car to care why it was crossing in the first place.
— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) July 4, 2013
3yo: Knock knock!
— MOMther (@PezzleStick) November 11, 2020
Me: Who's there?
3yo: 3yo!
Me: 3yo who?
3yo (in a low voice): Knock knock!
Me: Who's there?
3yo: 3yo!
Me: 3yo who?
3yo (in a falsetto voice): Knock knock!
Me: Who's there?
3yo: 3yo!
Me: 3yo who?
3yo: It's a knock knock joke!#MomLife
Just taught my son about knock knock jokes. The worst hells are the ones you unwittingly construct yourself.
— The Dad (@thedad) July 29, 2019
7-year-old: Knock knock.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2017
Me: Who's there?
7: Probably someone you don't want to talk to.
Too real.
My son's joke of the day: What is brown & sticky?
— Sara (@sara_ashlynn) May 30, 2013
A stick.
4yo: Mommy, you want to hear a funny joke?
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) April 10, 2020
Me: Yeah, kiddo!
4yo: Why did the humpback whale cross the ocean?
Me: Why?
4yo: To get to the other side. WAKA WAKA!
My 7 year old son has started telling pun jokes and I've never felt prouder of anything.
— Stewie Loves Coffee ☕ (@stewiecoffee) May 20, 2019
I also realise how much of an annoying shit I must have been over the last 4 decades.
My son just pitched me a Twitter joke:"Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?" Like to have him adopted, RT to have him killed
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) April 8, 2017
Laughing at a child’s joke is a great way to hear that exact same joke 8,000 more times.
— The Dad (@thedad) June 13, 2019
Mr 7: I know why you like beer so much.
— Tikitu de Jager (@tTikitu) April 29, 2020
Me: Why?
Mr 7: Because you have a beard!#KidsWriteJokes
11yo son: What do you call a cow with no legs?
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) July 19, 2015
Me: Oh, Dear God…
11yo: GROUND BEEF!
*laughs hysterically at his own joke
My daughter's attempt at a joke: Why can't an orange sing? Because it doesn't have eyes to see what language to sing in. Bless her! <3
— Alie Koffeman (@AlieKoffeman) June 14, 2011
Engaging in "Yo Mama" jokes with your own child is sort of a lose/lose situation.
— Raquel D'Apice (@theuglyvolvo) May 27, 2013
*my teenage sons being loud, laughing, making inappropriate jokes*
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 17, 2019
Me: SHHHH! The windows are open & the neighbors are outside!
Son: Well, I’m a little offended they haven’t laughed yet.
3: knock knock
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) February 8, 2020
5: who’s there?
3: house
5: house who?
3: house poop
Both: 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
My son's joke of the day:
— Sara (@sara_ashlynn) August 3, 2013
Where do milkshakes come from?
Nervous cows
My kid: Mom. Why did Daddy and Winnie The Pooh cross the road?
— NIN10Doe🇺🇲 🇳🇴🇸🇪🇮🇱 (@Stunningnbrave) August 22, 2019
Me: uhm, I don't know. Why did they cross the road?
My kid: Because daddy needed to flush him down the toilet because he was actually a bear made of poop and he shouldn't be walking around. #kidswritejokes
My 4yo has begun to make up her own knock-knock jokes. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated during this difficult time.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 10, 2015
My son: *tells a joke for the hundredth time in a row*
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) February 3, 2016
Me: *coughing up blood from all the forced laughter*