The body takes a good beating when you have a baby. I mean it’s a shock to the system. A slow gradual shock that takes nine months to manifest but then when it does, your body isn’t the same anymore. Now, some women bounce back quick and look just as awesome post baby as they did before. But some, like myself, we change. We morph. We’re shape shifters if you may. But we’re not blind. Or oblivious. We know we’re rocking the Mumbod. We know we’re having to squeeze into those skinny jeans. We know we’re having to buy a larger size. We’re upset that we had a snack too many during pregnancy.

For me, the actual shock came post baby number two. I fell sick, really sick. I lost a ton of weight. I’m talking about 30 pounds in a month or less. I couldn’t eat. During that time I couldn’t even remember being able to eat. Everything sickened me and I was kept hydrated via IV fluids. But along came 20 weeks and suddenly I started to bounce back. I could eat small meals and my hunger was slowly making its way back. I was still unable to be as active as I would’ve liked to be, and so most of my second pregnancy was spent just catching my breath and having my feet up. During the last trimester, I finally began feeling like myself. I started to enjoy meals and especially desserts. And the weight came back, and then some more. But no doctor told me off, because the weight gain was within acceptable range and I just needed to make it to the end, healthy and not in the hospital. So, I remained more vigilant about the health of my baby and unable to do much working out, I let the weight be a worry for later.

And now it’s later. And it’s frustrating. Because if you thought fitting in a workout is hard with one baby, try two. There’s just so much going on! But does the stress of life take away the angst of feeling unfit? Or the frustration of not being able to fit into your pre pregnancy pants four months postpartum? No, it doesn’t. But you know what doesn’t help? Comments from others. I mean here you are, trying to adjust to your wildly changed life, and people saunter by, passing judgements as if a) you’re oblivious, b) it’s appropriate for them to do so.

So, after chatting with a few friends, I’ve compiled a short and sweet list of things never to say to a mum, or you know what? Things never to say to anyone.

1.You’ve put on quite a bit. Really? I have? I didn’t notice the extra pounds lingering around my midsection. Thanks for the tip.

2.Feeding your baby makes you lose weight faster. No.it.does.not. In fact, you’re ravenous. I’ve never heard of anyone waking up for the 3 hourly night-wakings and sneaking in a pilates session in between. But I have heard of mamas having a cookie or two to keep their eyes open at 2 am.

3.It’s so easy to fit in an hour of working out. I can barely fit in 5 minutes to eat proper meals. I usually eat faster than I can chew and I’m sometimes standing over the counter as I do it, because I know, someone’s going to be needing me soon. Yes, I know I can fit in some time for a workout, but please don’t make it seem like I’m sitting on my sofa, leisurely contemplating life all day.

4.If you don’t lose it now, you never will. I’m sure it will be harder but it won’t be impossible. Striking fear in my already exhausted heart is certainly not going to make me put my running shoes on.

5.You don’t want to look like a Mummy! But isn’t that what I am? Maybe let’s shame mums less and celebrate them more?

6.So and so lost the weight in just 2 months. I saw. I’m on social media too. Also, I’m not blind. But so and so isn’t me. I salute every woman on any form of fitness journey. However she looks.

All I know is that I’m excited to work out and I love the feeling of being in control and on a mission. Let’s hope I achieve what I’m aiming for, because I’m pretty confident about it.

We’re all a work in progress. Mothers or not. What should be appreciated and commented on is our journey. Is the hurdles we overcome. Be fit. Be healthy. But above all, be what makes you happy.