Ahh, the ‘holiday abroad’ – finally, a chance to get a long-awaited, well-deserved break from reality! You’re all packed (probably enough for double your trip), you’ve sorted your travel insurance, you even remembered your EHIC card. You’ve checked in, you’ve just managed to spray every single perfume in duty free (you’ll be smelling lush for weeks!) – what could possibly go wrong now?
You set one foot on the plane and then you remember that one dreaded thing you forgot about: the airplane passengers. Here’s just a few of the worst types of people you always end up being stuck with on the plane…
1. The babies – those screaming, crying little things who are always sat just a few rows behind you. Goodbye to any chance of a nap! They could have the face of an angel, but by the end of that flight, the only thing you are thinking of is how to chuck them off the plane without anyone noticing.
2. The bratty child – this goes out to any of those spoilt brats out there who’ve never known basic manners and will whine and whine to their unbothered parents throughout the entire duration of the flight. We all hate you!
3. The inactive parent – following on from bratty kids comes their ignorant parents, who manage to act as if everything is fine and their kids aren’t driving the entire plane crazy.
4. The Gap Yah student – besides ‘finding themselves’, the only thing a gap year student seems to have discovered is how to un-discover deodorant. Sweat, BO, and a year’s supply of unwashed clothes don’t mix well in the confined space of a plane! Their visa has probably expired, they’ve run out of money (after buying another pair of tribal harem pants) – someone didn’t check out the Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) travel checklist!
5. The fear of flying flyer – there’s nothing worse than sitting next to a nervous flyer. Before you set foot on that plane, you were the most confident flyer around, but after sitting next to one of them, planes are no longer your friends.
6. The allergy sufferer – look, I know technically it’s not the person’s fault they were born with an allergy, but I just want to be able to crack my pack of nuts open in peace without accidentally killing someone on board! (Side note: if you are unlucky enough to have an allergy, when travelling abroad make sure you have all your medication with you and check up on regulations on where you are travelling to).
7. The rowdy drinker – it’s fine if you want to swig a few pints – you’re on holiday! Just don’t be that one who can’t hold themselves together; you’re not the only one on the plane (unless you own a private jet, then do whatever you want!). If you’re planning on continuing the drink session off the plane once you land, always try to make sure you are still aware of your surroundings and personal belongings – tourists are easy pickings for thieves.
8. The weak bladder flyer – there’s nothing worse than having an aisle seat and being sat next to someone who always needs the loo. Just try and hold yourself together, man!
9. The lads holiday / The gals holiday /The stag do / The hen do – now whilst they are all different, they can all cause the exact same annoyance to other plane passengers. We get that Barry’s getting hitched – but we don’t need to hear your silly chants on repeat for 4 hours!
10. The chair recliner – oh, the classic person who thinks it’s acceptable to wind back into your personal space without even asking if you mind. As if we aren’t all packed in enough like sardines on planes nowadays!
11. The seat kicker – there is only so much patience for one of these types of individuals. I’m sure you can think of somewhere they need to be kicked!
12. The smelly food flyer – there’s an unspoken etiquette for travelling on airplanes that some people pretend to not be aware of. That includes eating smelly foods in a confined space. Nope, I definitely don’t want to smell your lukewarm tuna and brie pie!
13. The love birds – excuse us, for not wanting to be witness to your lovey-dovey cuddles. Please wait and take your make-out session elsewhere!
It’s not all doom and gloom – just try not to let a bad bunch of stereotypes get in the way of you having a fantastic time away! Remember, whenever you’re planning on travelling abroad, check out the FCO website for official up to date information so you know before you go!